On My Way to Believing
by DrMellark
Summary: Katniss Everdeen has lived a life full of disappointment. She's ready to give up on her dreams when the rich and famous Peeta Mellark appears in her life and gives her a reason to hope, again. Rated M for violence, language, eventual lemons, and adult situations. Alternating POV, Modern Day AU
1. Chapter 1

Chapter 1: Dreamed a Dream

Katniss stood awkwardly on the outskirts of the large ballroom, her weight shifting from one foot to the other as she twiddled with the pendant on her necklace. Her nerves were getting the best of her; nerves that arose from a number of things.

First was her general discomfort of having to be in a room full of strangers. Katniss didn't really know how to act around a large crowd, especially when wearing a dress and heels. The one person in the room she knew was her faculty mentor, Professor Abernathy, but he seemed too preoccupied at the punch bowl, which was most likely spiked by some prankster undergrad.

Second was the anxiety that always followed her whenever her boyfriend Cato wasn't around. He was a jealous and controlling man and she hadn't told him about the banquet tonight; probably because he would have forbade her to go, and partly because she didn't want to get her hopes up. To call him her boyfriend would be too kind a word; more like her captor, but if the rest of the night went in her favor, maybe his hold on her would loosen and she could be free.

The final contributing factor to her nerves was the small pit of excitement she had tried to keep at bay since she had gotten that letter six weeks ago. She had read it so many times to remind herself that it was real.  
_  
Dear Miss Everdeen,_

_We are pleased to inform you that you have been chosen as a finalist for the Presidential Endowed Graduate Scholarship. You are cordially invited to join your fellow finalists, faculty mentors and board members at a banquet held in your honor, where the final winner will be announced. Attire is formal..._

Katniss took a deep breath; her life had been filled with disappointment and she wasn't ready for another one. As much as she wanted to feel excited about the opportunity, she refused herself the luxury. Katniss knew what winning would mean.

It would pay for her student loans, would help pay for Prim's college tuition, and she could quit her job and be free from Cato. Despite having to provide for both herself and Prim ever since their father died before Katniss's freshman year in college, Katniss refused to settle on a mediocre life for herself, and especially for Prim. Their mother had fallen into such a deep depression after their father's death that Katniss was forced to pick up the pieces and do what she could to provide the best for Prim. She knew that her own schooling would be important in the bigger scheme of things in order to provide Prim with the life she deserved, but Katniss could only take out so many loans and eventually had to seek out more gainful means of employment. Prim was going to start college in a few months and Katniss wasn't proud of the things she had to do to keep their finances afloat. Winning the scholarship tonight could change things.

Katniss refused to let the optimism get the best of her and anchored herself once more by twirling her pendant around her fingers.

"That's a really nice necklace."

The voice shook her from her thoughts and she jumped at the sudden intrusion. Only then did she realize that directly in front of her was a man's broad chest, dressed in a black suit and forest green tie. She thanked him, and brought her eyes up to meet his. They were the bluest pair of eyes she had ever seen.

Katniss was not a woman of many words, but had she looked up into those eyes five seconds earlier, she doubt her brain could have even managed the pathetic, "Thanks," she had muttered in return. As she tried not to gawk at her new blonde haired, blue-eyed acquaintance, her ears managed hear him ask her to dance. The most she could muster was an affirmative nod and she composed herself enough to place her hand in his when he offered it to her.

* * *

Peeta was not thrilled about representing his family at the scholarship banquet. The Mellarks were generous donors to the University of Panem and his mother would not allow an invitation to a formal function thrown by the University to go unattended. She cared too much about the family's reputation, but apparently the scholarship banquet was not important enough for the matriarch of the family to attend herself. Peeta ended up with the "honor".

Peeta surveyed the room and found that many female eyes were watching him. Whether it was his handsome appearance, or his reputation as the heir to a rather large family fortune that drew the looks and suggestive smirks from the women around him, he didn't know or care. He had learned his lesson having dealt with his fair share of gold diggers and high maintenance co-eds during his time attending the University of Panem. He had graduated only two years before, but the girls hadn't change. They were all the same, superficial girls he had casually dated during his time as a student.

He continued to skim the room, biding his time until the winning announcement was made and he could slip away from the rest of the banquet unnoticed.

The color of her dress was what caught his eye, first. It was a deep orange color, his favorite, and it reminded him of the summer sunsets he used to watch on the beach during Mellark family vacations. Peeta noticed the fabric of the skirt swaying back and forth and saw the owner of the dress rocking nervously on her feet. He finally looked up at her face and saw a distant look in her eyes, and watched as she restlessly played with her necklace. He could tell by her expression that her mind was in a million places at once, and he found himself relieved that she was one of a handful of women in the room that wasn't staring at him. It was endearing that she seemed to wear her emotions on her face, and he felt oddly compelled to go talk to her and hopefully quell some of the nervousness that spilled over into her every action and expression. His feet found his way over to her and resisted the urge to chuckle as he stood in front of her for a good minute without her realizing his presence.

* * *

As he led her to the dance floor and placed a hand on her waist, Katniss still couldn't believe she had said yes. Well, more like gestured "yes" since her brain and mouth had seemed to disconnect the moment she saw those blue eyes. There were so many reasons she should have turned him down.

First and foremost was Cato. If Cato knew she was at this banquet, she knew he would be upset, but if he found out she danced with another man, especially one this attractive, he would go ballistic. Katniss should know better than to get on Cato's bad side.

Second was her aversion to the male species in general. In her current line of work, most of the men she encountered were disrespectful pigs and her "boyfriend" could be considered to be the biggest pig of all. Typically, the line "That's a really nice necklace" meant that they were looking at something entirely different than her jewelry; more likely the part of her body that it rested on. Yet here she was, dancing with this tall, blonde, handsome man after he used that exact line.

She slowly brought her eyes up to meet his and realized she couldn't have turned down those blue eyes, even if her brain could have remembered all the reasons to say "no".

He continued to lead her as they floated along the dance floor, effortlessly maneuvering around the other dancing couples. Katniss suddenly became aware of the searing looks burning into her back from pretty much every female in attendance. She couldn't blame them. Her mystery man was gorgeous and she was nothing special.

"What is your name?" he asked.

"Katniss. Katniss Everdeen," she replied. "What's yours?"

She tried to ignore the look of confusion on his face when she finished her question. She felt insecure enough being so close to him and didn't need any more reasons to feel inadequate. "Peeta. Peeta Mellark," he responded.

Katniss tried to place the name; she knew she had heard it before. Perhaps he was a fellow scholarship finalist, yet the tailored suit he wore and the way he carried himself made her question that assumption. Somebody like him probably never needed a scholarship. She continued to wrack her brain to find the connection with the name.

He must have realized that her mind was some place else, and that she was uncomfortably filling the silence between them with the thoughts that raced in her head. His voice brought her back again.

"You're a very graceful dancer," Peeta complimented. "Very light on your feet."

She knew she should be flattered by his words, but instead she tried to hold in a smirk. If he only knew...

* * *

Peeta was uncomfortable around a woman for the first time in his life. Usually he was charming and the women would melt at his words, turning into giggling, flirty airheads. This girl Katniss Everdeen was proving to be a challenge.

But Peeta was never one to shy away from a challenge.

He was intrigued by how different she was from any other woman he had interacted with. Her face gave her away and she often found herself lost in her thoughts. He found it adorable when she furrowed her brow in concentration after he told her his name. That was probably what shocked Peeta the most: the fact that she seemed to genuinely not know who he was.

He wanted to get to know this girl.

The song finished and he hesitated for a moment before letting go of her waist and hand. The second his hands left her, she immediately reached for the pendant around her neck like it was a security blanket. He glanced at the pendant again and noticed that it was a bird flapping its wings, with an arrow between its talons. He was about to open his mouth to ask her about it when he was interrupted by a cheery female voice on the microphone.

* * *

"Welcome, welcome everybody to the Presidential Endowed Graduate Scholarship banquet! My name is Effie Trinket and I am the head of the University of Panem Scholarship Committee".

Katniss had become familiar with Miss Trinket throughout the application process. The woman had a bubbly personality, almost to the point that it irritated Katniss, but she couldn't deny that Miss Trinket was a tremendous help throughout the past few months while Katniss compiled her credentials and applied for the scholarship.

Miss Trinket continued to speak, informing the audience about the history of the scholarship. It was awarded to one graduating senior and would pay off all the student loans they had accrued during their four years at the university.

Katniss realized she was holding her breath. Then she remembered that she was still standing next to Peeta Mellark. The name was so familiar to her but she still couldn't seem to place it. Her thought process was again broken as Miss Trinket invited all the finalists to the stage.

She turned to Peeta and thanked him for the dance and flashed him a small smile. The smile he returned made her heart jump. She made her way to the stage and was joined by the other five finalists.

As part of the program, the finalists were to present their senior projects to the crowd. The scholarship winner had already been decided behind closed doors, so the presentations tonight did not effect the final outcome. The program was more of a way to showcase the university's diverse talent and encourage attendants to donate money to the school. One by one, each finalist approached the podium and talked about their projects and future plans; topics that ranged from government to business, science to engineering. Katniss was the last to go. Since she was a music and theater major, rather than speak, she was going to sing.

As Katniss was introduced, she was joined by her faculty mentor, Professor Haymitch Abernathy, who was the man who taught her how to act. Singing came naturally to her; her dearest memories were listening to her father's beautiful voice and joining him while he sat at the piano. It was there that she fell in love with song, and eventually musical theater, and she knew that she wanted to be on the stage. It was where she felt closest to her father, especially now that he was gone. But she had a rude awakening when she first joined Professor Abernathy's drama class.

One of the first scenes that they acted out was the final scene in Romeo and Juliet. It was when Juliet awoke in the tomb only to discovered that Romeo had poisoned himself. Having never been in love, she tried her best to play half of the "Star-Crossed Lovers" routine. After the scene was over, Professor Abernathy was brutally honest. "You're supposed to be in love, sweetheart. The boy's dying. Give me something I can work with!". They stubbornly butt heads but Professor Abernathy could tell the passion Katniss had and continued to challenge her. After enough practice, Katniss could at least present herself as a decent actress and she hoped her singing would get her the rest of the way.

She took a deep breath and stepped up to the microphone. The song she chose to sing was from one of her favorite Broadway musicals, Les Miserables. It was a song she could relate to, sung by a character in a similar predicament as Katniss's. The character, Fantine, did what she had to after she was abandoned and forced to care for her child alone, and that included selling her body.

Katniss had to take care of Prim when her father died and her mother mentally and emotionally abandoned them. She did what she had to do to provide for them, even if she had to resort to a similar means of income as Fantine. The song started to play and as she took a breath to begin, she caught those striking blue eyes in the audience.

_I dreamed a dream in time gone by,  
When hope was high and life worth living,  
I dreamed that love would never die  
I dreamed that God would be forgiving..._

* * *

Peeta watched as the nervous girl he had danced with melted away the second she stepped up to the microphone. Before she sang one note, he already knew that her voice would be amazing. Nobody could ooze the type self confidence she did in front of the microphone unless they had talent, especially after seeing how nervous she was before she got on stage.

But nothing prepared him for the voice that he heard. He tried to hide the sharp intake of breath when she sang her first line. Peeta was completely entranced. He hadn't realized that his feet began moving him closer to the stage but he felt an undeniable pull towards her.

_But the tigers come at night.  
With their voices soft as thunder  
As they tear your hope apart  
As they turn your dream to shame...  
_  
As he got closer, he realized that her voice wasn't the only thing extraordinary about her performance. The expression in her voice and in her face tugged at his heart; she captured every emotion in the song and he wondered what had happened in her life that allow her to convey these emotions to the audience so easily. He wondered if maybe she was just that great of an actress. But their previous interactions that night, the way her thoughts spilled so easily into her facial expressions, made him believe that this wasn't the case.

_I had a dream my life would be  
So different from this hell I'm living  
So different from what it seemed  
Now life has killed the dream I dreamed..._

As she sang those last lines, Peeta knew he was a goner. Hearing the agony in her voice shifted something inside him. He would find out why she was hurting, and he would do whatever it took to make it right, to make her happy.

He was still staring in awe as she stepped back with the rest of the finalists. People were enthusiastically clapping around him but he couldn't even bring himself to lift his arms.

* * *

Katniss usually had a mild case of performance anxiety before she sang, and she had thought that all the nerves from the night would manifest themselves on stage. One of her biggest crutches was her necklace; Professor Abernathy constantly scolded her for playing with it while she performed. For some reason she was surprisingly calm and confident tonight, but she had found a new crutch in the dazzling blue eyes of Peeta Mellark.

They were fixated on her throughout the performance and whenever she felt nervous, her attention focused to those steady blue eyes. When she finished her song, she felt emotionally exhausted. She took her nerves and used them to fuel her emotional performance and by the reaction of the crowd, she knew that they were all moved.

As Katniss stepped back from the microphone, the nervousness crept back as she realized that the scholarship winner was to be announced soon. She began to reach for her necklace but stopped as she again caught Peeta's eyes. His facial expression after her performance filled her with a sense of pride and she couldn't help the slight smirk that emerged on her face.

"Bravo! Bravo!" Effie squealed, "What talent we have here at the University of Panem! We are soon approaching the announcement of the winner of the 74th Presidential Endowed Graduate Scholarship. But before we go to the main event, we would like to thank some very important people for their generosity to our prestigious university."

Effie began to rattle off names of donors as the audience politely applauded. Katniss clapped along with the crowd although she had mentally zoned out, still holding Peeta's gaze.

"And, last, but _certainly _not least, we would like to thank the Mellark family for their generous contributions to our school." Katniss snapped out of her dreamlike state when Effie uttered the name. "The Presidential Endowed Graduate Scholarship would not be possible without your family's donations. Here representing the Mellark family is Mr. Peeta Mellark, who is also an alumni of the University of Panem. Thank you!"

The applause was the loudest for Peeta out of all of the donors that were announced. A spotlight found him in the audience and he smiled and raised his hand, acknowledging the applause. The flash of his smile caused squeals from some of the women in the crowd. Katniss, however, stood frozen in place.

How could she be so stupid? No wonder the name had sounded so familiar. She silently berated herself for not realizing sooner. She must have made a complete fool of herself all night to one of the heirs of the most famous family fortunes this side of the coast. Katniss recalled her roommate Madge's excitement when they first stepped on campus at the University of Panem.

_"I heard that one of the Mellarks goes to school here! Maybe we'll meet him and he'll fall madly in love with one of us. Then he'll introduce the other one to his brothers and we can both become part of American royalty!" Katniss just rolled her eyes at her friend. She didn't have time to worry about romance. She was too busy trying to figure out how to feed her family, pay tuition and pass her classes. No time for romance with those kinds of priorities._

The realization must have been playing on her face, because Peeta looked at her again and gave her a sheepish smile and shrugged his shoulders. Katniss forced herself to snap back to reality. After all, the announcement she had been waiting all night for was approaching. An announcement that could change her life, that could help her take care of her family, that could maybe restore the small amount of dignity she had left.

"Now, for the moment we've all been waiting for! To all of our finalists, we are very proud of you! May the odds be ever in your favor!" Effie was handed a small envelope and began to speak. "Congratulations to..."

Katniss held her breath as Effie opened the envelope and pulled out a small slip of paper. She desperately hoped that her name was on that slip.

"...Benjamin Turner!"

* * *

Before the announcement, Peeta watched with amusement as Katniss's face showed the realization of who he was, but his stomach dropped, later, when he realized that the name Effie had announced wasn't hers. Knowing how easily Katniss's emotions played on her face, Peeta tried to avoid looking at her.

First he watched as Benjamin Turner, the engineering major, approached the microphone, thanked everybody for the honor, and announced that they could call him B.T. for short. He glanced over to the other finalists that weren't picked. They all clapped for B.T. but their faces were wrought with disappointment.

As much as he didn't want to see that similar disappointment in Katniss's face, he couldn't help but look at her, too.

He immediately regretted his decision. The expression on her face wasn't disappointment. It was panic.

* * *

Katniss tried to be a good sport and listen to B.T. as he rattled off his acceptance speech, but her insides were crumbling. Again, she had allowed herself to hope, to dream, and she came away empty handed. She started to realize what it meant. She would have to go back to Cato, she would have to keep doing a job she hated. He would continue to control her.

All she wanted to do was escape, but she was stuck on the stage having to listen to B.T. make his speech as all her dreams shattered around her. As soon as it was over and they were allowed to leave the stage, she bolted for the door. Professor Abernathy didn't make an attempt to stop her; he knew what the scholarship meant to her, even if he wasn't aware of all the gritty details. There was a bottle-neck at the stage steps as the banquet attendees approached to congratulate B.T.

Katniss used this opportunity to slip through the crowd unnoticed.

* * *

Peeta tried to intercept Katniss as the finalists left the stage, but it was so crowded that he couldn't get to her in time. He tried his best to keep track of the orange dress as he maneuvered through the crowd.

He found his way through the door of the banquet hall only to catch a glimpse of a deep orange fabric as the elevator doors closed. Peeta tried to catch the elevator, smashing the down button only to realize he was too late. The sign for the stairwell caught his eye and he tackled the door and bounded down the stairs, but by the time he made his way from the lobby into the street, the orange dress was nowhere to be found.

He sighed, ran his fingers through his hair and chuckled to himself. Never had he felt anything like this for a woman. He only hoped that he see would see her again someday.

* * *

**Author's Note**: This is my first attempt at a HG fanfic; I hope you enjoyed it! I purposefully left some things pretty ambiguous, but things should be answered as the story goes on. As you can see, this will have alternating POVs (Katniss and Peeta, mostly, but some others along the way) in order to tell the story how I envisioned it. Thanks for reading!


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2: Tight Grip on Reality

The odds did not seem to be in Katniss Everdeen's favor tonight, so she silently thanked the heavens when a cab was already waiting at the curb of the hotel where the scholarship banquet had been held. She couldn't get out of there fast enough and tried her best to slow her heart rate as she told the driver the address to Cato's apartment. Katniss glanced at the clock on the dashboard and her heart rate, again, jumped in intensity.

It was late; Cato would be home by now and would have discovered that she was missing. Katniss tried to be afraid of the consequences, but she couldn't feel much besides the despair and defeat she was currently feeling after the scholarship announcement.

The events of tonight had reinforced her pessimism; why hope for anything when it never works out?

Her mind dismissed the entire night as a waste, until she remembered the blue eyes and dazzling smile of Peeta Mellark. She recalled the way he watched her while she sang. Katniss pondered that if she could make somebody react that way with her singing, maybe she had a shot of making it.

She shook her head, trying to dismiss the thought. There she was again, letting herself hope, but she was too sick of feeling the disappointment that so often followed.

The cab driver pulled up to the apartment and Katniss could see that Cato's lights were on. She paid the driver and prepared herself for what would happen when she walked inside. She turned the key in the lock and slowly opened the door.

Cato wasn't in the living room so she cautiously made her way into the kitchen, where she found him sitting at the table facing away from her. She took in his large frame and blonde hair and her mind again went back to Peeta. Despite their similarity in build and hair color, she could instantly see the difference in the way they carried themselves.

Peeta was open, friendly and charming. Cato was cold, rough, and controlling.

Her heels clicked on the tile of the kitchen and Cato swung around to look at her. He looked her up and down with a scowl on his face. Then she realized he was holding the letter.

"What the fuck is this?" he spat at her, throwing her scholarship banquet invitation back on the kitchen table.

Katniss tried to compose herself and explain. "I applied for a scholarship and I was one of the finalists... They announced the winner tonight."

"Why didn't you tell me?" he countered. "Did you think that you would win, and that you wouldn't need me anymore? Did you think it would be that easy?"

"No..." she lied. Deep inside, she did think that winning the scholarship would free her from Cato. But that just ended up being another pipe dream.

Cato stood up from the chair and started walking towards her. She stepped backwards until her back was against the wall. "Do you think that this makes you better than me?!" His fist impacted the wall near her head.

Katniss tried not to cry; as defeated as she felt from the events of the day, she didn't want Cato to know that he was scaring her. Instead she shook her head.

"It doesn't matter," she muttered, "I didn't win."

Cato's body seemed to relax. For a split second, she was happy she hadn't won the scholarship. Knowing now that Cato had found the invitation, she was glad she didn't have to see him react to the news of her winning and leaving. It was easier this way.

"Damn right, you didn't," he boasted. "Maybe this will serve as a good reminder that you are what you are because of me. Without my generosity, you would be nothing. You would be nowhere".

Katniss held in the scoff that threatened to come out. She'd learned enough times at the hands of Cato what would happen if she appeared defiant. But inside she couldn't help but think that even with his so-called generosity, she was still nothing... She was still nowhere.

As he prepared to leave the room, Cato turned to look at her. "Be ready for tomorrow, I need you to work. A group of VIPs are coming in with a special request for my best girl."

Katniss knew that he meant it as some sort of compliment, but it left her feeling empty. She silently cursed herself for ever hoping that her life could get better than this.

* * *

"Come on, man! We planned this whole night for you! Don't ruin it!" Finnick was pleading with Peeta.

"It sounds more like you planned this whole night for **you**. It just happens to fall on my birthday." Peeta retorted.

"It'll be fun! All the guys are really excited. I even shelled out for the best girls!"

Peeta sighed, "Finn, you know that I'm not really into that whole scene."

Finnick looked exasperated, but he wasn't about to give up so easily. "I know you have no trouble bagging any girl you want Mr. I'm Rich and Handsome, but some of us still enjoy indulging our savage male instincts." Peeta rolled his eyes but Finnick continued. "Besides, its a really classy place, I promise. The girls don't even go nude. Its more like really skimpy outfits and they dance."

Finnick tried to give Peeta his best puppy-dog face, and he must have seen Peeta's defenses go down for a split second. Finnick knew that it was time to go in for the kill. "Plus, you could use the distraction after losing Miss Perfect at the banquet last night".

Peeta knew that it wasn't worth the argument anymore. He also knew it was a bad idea telling Finn about meeting Katniss. He would never hear the end of it. "Fine, you win."

Finnick's face lit up as he pumped his fist in the air. He ran out of Peeta's room and into the living room, where Peeta's friends and brothers were waiting to start the night's festivities. "All systems are go, gentlemen!"

Peeta could hear the whoops and whistles. He figured it was worth it to see his friends and brothers happy. The final deciding factor for giving in to tonight's activities was his constant distraction thinking about Katniss. He concluded that regardless of where they ended up going, his mind wouldn't be on the party. Might as well let his boys have a good time in his honor.

Peeta threw on his sport coat and headed downstairs with the boys to where the limo was waiting.

* * *

Katniss had started off as a waitress at Cray's Caberet. She had just started college and was quick to learn that to earn the best tips, she had to show some skin. As much as it killed her, she knew that working at Cray's was the easiest way to earn the money she needed.

That's where she met Cato. Cato was Cray's nephew and was the one in charge after Cray decided to retire and move down to the coast. He was sweet at the beginning, but as she grew to know him, she realized that it was just an act to get whatever he wanted. And you could never deny Cato what he wanted.

At first she appreciated his attention; he seemed to be understanding of her situation with her family and finances. He seemed sympathetic and even went out of his way to help her. But as soon as he realized her vulnerability, he pounced and refused to let go.

She was still a waitress when she decided to move in with him. That changed shortly after he discovered a better way for her to make money for him.

Katniss knew that Cato was the jealous type. That's why she was so caught off guard when he suggested that she become a dancer. Then she realized that he enjoyed showing her off; getting paid good money to have her tease rich men, all the while knowing that it was his bed that she would occupy when the night was over.

At first she was apprehensive, but then she saw the money she made and realized what it could mean. Private school for Prim, an apartment in a better neighborhood. All the things she felt Prim deserved. And, maybe somewhere along the way, she would find time to pursue her dreams, too.

So, after that, Katniss vowed to become the best, most desired dancer they had to offer. If she was going to sell herself this way, she might as well make it worth her time and effort. Thanks to acting lessons by Professor Abernathy, she inadvertently learned to detach herself as she did her job, trying to preserve her dignity the best she could.

But a little piece of her died every time she stepped on that stage and saw the desire in men's eyes, most of all when she saw the desire in Cato's. To him, she was just an object to make money off of and to use at his own leisure. But the motivation to leave Cato and this life behind fled her body when Effie Trinket called someone else's name at the scholarship banquet the night before.

"Earth to Katniss!"

Her thoughts snapped back into the present. Johanna Mason, another dancer for Cray's, was staring at her. "You really are brainless." she quipped. Johanna was one of the few other dancers that she got along with. Katniss appreciated her no-bullshit attitude.

"Sorry, I can't seem to focus" Katniss confessed. She knew she couldn't afford to be distracted. Cato emphasized the importance of her performance tonight. The men who had specially requested her were very important - which in Cato talk meant very rich - people. He even shelled out on a brand new outfit for her. It was a fiery red and hugged her curves in all the right places.

Katniss finished her hair and make up and when she finally looked herself over, even she couldn't deny the fact that she looked sexy.

As Katniss finished analyzing herself in the mirror, she realized that Cato was standing behind her with that look in his eyes. He ran his hands up and down her sides, drinking her in. "You are going to be amazing tonight," he whispered in her ear. She shivered at his words, not from desire but from fear. She knew he would be watching her during her performance; she had to do her best.

Katniss knew the other dancers were eye-ing her as well and she felt the contempt in their gaze. They all knew who Cato's favorite was, there wasn't any question. Two in particular, Cashmere and Glimmer, shot her extra dirty looks as they walked towards the VIP room. They were sick of being Katniss's opening act; they wanted to be the main event.

Katniss wished they realized how sick of it she was, too.

She turned to look at the mirror again, her confidence faltering. As usual, she brought up her hand and started playing with the pendant around her neck as she waited for her cue.

* * *

Peeta was grateful to have Finnick as a best friend, not just because he was loyal or fun to be around, but mostly because he occupied most of the female attention whenever they went out together. Peeta was used to getting looks from women; he was attractive and everyone knew he had money. But when Finnick was around, the female eyes defaulted to him even if he wasn't as rich as the Mellarks were. Peeta appreciated the break.

When they walked into Cray's Caberet, all attention was on them. They were a group of young, attractive, well dressed men; they practically commanded attention. Finnick led the way, as the night's excursion was a result of all his planning. Finn was greeted by a large blond haired man who shook Finn's hand and welcomed the group. He introduced himself as Cato, owner of the establishment. As he led them to the VIP room, he bragged about the girls he had lined up.

They all settled into the room and Peeta made his way towards a booth in the back, as far from the stage as possible. He ordered a drink and sipped on it as Cato appeared and introduced the first girls of the night. There were four of them: Clove, Glimmer, Johanna, and Cashmere.

The music started and Peeta watched as Glimmer and Cashmere's eyes discovered Finnick and they instantly turned their attention towards him. Johanna focused mostly on his work partner, Gale, while Clove was left to occupy his brothers and other college buddies.

Their dance lasted for awhile; Peeta had lost track of time and was content on sipping his whiskey-coke and thinking about the olive-skinned, dark haired girl with the grey eyes and extraordinary voice he had met the night before. He thought maybe he had gotten away with avoiding a dance all together when Finnick pulled him out of his seat and grabbed his drink. Before he knew it, he was sitting at a chair at the end of the stage, where a small runway jutted out.

"I requested the best girl they had and it cost me a shit-ton so you better enjoy it! Happy birthday, buddy!" Finnick said as he slapped Peeta on the back.

Peeta started to panic as Cato introduced the main event. "Kat". The music started and he looked around the room at his friends, some of who were sitting with the dancers from earlier. Gale, in particular, had one of the girls, Johanna, in his lap. He looked terrified.

Peeta sensed movement at the back of the stage and watched as a pair of legs appeared behind a curtain. The woman was wearing red heels and she started moving towards him, swaying sensually to the music. He watched her feet, afraid to look at anything else, and began to drink in her long, slender legs. His eyes traveled upwards and took note of the olive color of her skin.

Peeta held his breath as his eyes glazed over her torso and chest, appreciating the way the fire red garments clung to her body and accentuated every curve. Finnick wasn't kidding when he said that he requested the best girl.

Peeta fought an internal battle; he wasn't the kind of guy who was impressed by places like this or satisfied by "oogling" some attractive, semi-dressed woman, and yet he found himself having such an undeniable reaction to his "birthday present". She moved gracefully and was light on her feet despite the high heels she wore. He dared himself to bring his gaze higher; to see her face.

That was when one of the stage lights caught her necklace and he felt his breath catch in his throat.

* * *

Katniss heard her cue as Cato introduced her and her music started. She took a deep breath and let go of her necklace as she took her place behind the curtain. She knew she had a specific customer; she was used to having to focus her attention for bachelor parties and birthdays, but usually when she walked on stage the first time, she avoided looking at her special client for as long as she could.

As she stepped out from behind the curtain, she surveyed the room. All the men were young, rich, and attractive; she was used to seeing this type of crowd in the VIP room. One particularly striking man had copper hair and green eyes and she watched as Glimmer and Cashmere fawned over him. Johanna was sitting in the lap of a tall, dark haired man who shared Katniss's olive colored skin. She looked up and saw Cato in the back, giving her a devilish smirk; his eyes roaming up and down her body. Her last distraction were two older, blond-haired blue-eyed men who bore an odd resemblance to...

Peeta...

Katniss heard her client's sharp intake of air and snapped her attention towards her special customer. Her steel grey eyes met the piercing blues that she had become so familiar with after last night's festivities.

She remembered how taken aback she was the first time she saw them. She remembered when she used them as her crutch while she sang, drawing confidence from them. Then she remembered that she was still on stage and couldn't panic. Despite the comfort those eyes had provided a little more than 24 hours before, in this circumstance, they only caused her more anxiety.

Katniss knew her face rarely hid her emotions but she did her damnest to go about as business-as-usual. Her insides were doing a roller coaster as her emotions fluctuated between shocked, excited, and embarrassed. The overwhelming emotion she felt, however, was shame.

It was easier, before, to do her job and still live a semblance of a normal life; going to school, taking care of her family. But now those two worlds were colliding; somebody from her "normal" life now knew what she did to earn money and worst of all, it was the kind, handsome, rich and powerful Peeta Mellark.

But now instead of feeling detached from herself as she danced for the men's pleasure, she felt nauseous and ashamed.

She still had to put on her best show, however. Peeta Mellark was a paying customer and she needed to give him his money's worth. Katniss knew that despite all the shame she felt already, she would feel ten times worse if she felt like she didn't give him her best effort.

* * *

Cato watched as Katniss entered the stage and felt the power surge through him. He could see that every male had their attention on his girl.

**HIS** girl.

When Katniss danced for other men, he didn't feel jealousy. He felt haughty, proud, arrogant. All the men she danced for desired her, but couldn't have her. She was his and the idea turned him on.

Cato could tell that the birthday boy seemed especially appreciative of his girl. Normally, a reaction like this would boost his ego even higher. But something was different about this time.

He looked at Katniss and didn't see the distant, seductive expression she normally wore when dancing for a client. There was something different in her eyes and it took Cato a second before he finally put his finger on it.

No, no, no. This wouldn't do at all.

* * *

**A/N**: Thank you to everyone who has read, reviewed, followed and favorite-d! I wasn't sure what kind of response I would get, considering this was my first attempt at fanfiction, but this was definitely more than I had expected! Anyway, I had most of this story worked out in my head before I posted the first chapter. Now it's a matter of finding time to get it from my brain onto paper, or typed-up in this case. This chapter served more as a way to answer some of the questions I left open from last chapter and to set up for some future drama. Hope you stick around to see what happens!


	3. Chapter 3

**Warning: This chapter contains some mild scenes of verbal, physical and sexual abuse as well as coarse language. **

Chapter 3: Tigers Come at Night

Katniss made her way back to the dressing room, her heart pounding and palms sweaty.

Normally after her dance she would join the girls after an outfit change to mingle with the VIPs and earn more tips. But this time was different.

She had hoped that nobody noticed the change in her demeanor after she met Peeta's eyes for the first time on stage, but after she finished her dance and glanced up at Cato, she could see the jealousy burning in his eyes.

Johanna burst into the dressing room and made her way straight to Katniss.

"God. Damn. Even I had to admit that was hot. Cato must be sky-high, right now after seeing you dance like that. No doubt you're going to rake in record tips". Even Glimmer, Cashmere and Clove looked dejected. "Come on, girls, let's get changed and back out there. I'm sure those boys' pockets are loose after Katniss warmed them up like that!"

Katniss knew that it wasn't worth the attempt to get changed. Cato's look had said it all; there was no way she was going back out there. She wasn't shocked when she heard him burst through the dressing room door and felt him grab her wrists as he pulled her out to the back alley.

"Oh man," Johanna chuckled. "Guess Cato couldn't wait until they got home!"

* * *

Peeta was frozen; his body stuck to the chair as he gripped the armrests to the point that his knuckles were white. It wasn't until Finn's voice brought him back that he remembered who he was.

"Holy shit, man. They weren't kidding. I feel like I still owe them money after that performance and I've already shelled out a lot".

Peeta surveyed his room full of friends. It looked like they were all still recovering from the experience.

He remembered Katniss's face; the myriad of emotions that ranged between shock, horror and humiliation. He remembered the way her eyes pleaded with him; for what he wasn't sure.

Was she afraid that he was going to tell somebody? Was she afraid that he was judging her?

Peeta re-lived every emotion on her face now that she was gone, because while she danced for him he couldn't focus on much of anything besides her body and how turned on he felt. Now it was his turn to feel ashamed.

This girl was different, he knew it from everything he learned about her last night. But when Katniss danced, all he could think about were the things he wanted to do to her body; where he wanted to touch and taste her, how he wanted to worship every inch of her.

He shook away those thoughts and focused again on the expression on her face. The song she sang at the banquet and the emotions that she brought to performance suddenly made sense. Peeta knew that she wasn't proud or happy about what she was doing and that made him feel even worse. He was disgusted that he had taken so much pleasure in her performance tonight, when he knew that she hated herself for it.

The four girls from earlier returned in new outfits and the boys had fully recovered; ready to lay down some serious money. Katniss, however, did not come back with them.

Peeta was still reeling. He had to get some fresh air and took advantage of the distraction to slip out unnoticed.

He walked out of the club and paced along the sidewalk. Above the sound of traffic, he could hear an angry voice coming from the alleyway behind the club.

* * *

Cato had a firm grip on her arm as he led her out into the alleyway. Katniss knew it would probably bruise by morning. When he finally got her through the back door, he shoved her against the brick exterior of the building.

"What. The. FUCK. Was that?" he spat at her angrily.

She tried to feign ignorance. "What was what?"

He grabbed her shoulders and shoved her harder against the wall.

"You know what, you selfish bitch. You liked him. I could tell!"

Katniss knew that Cato wouldn't like what he heard no matter if she confirmed or denied his accusations. She weighed her options and decided to continue to play dumb. "Cato, I don't know what you're talking ab-"

Her face stung after he backhanded her hard before she could finish the sentence. He grabbed her chin with one hand and pointed a finger in her face with the other, forcing her to look at him.

"I could see it in your face. That pretty little face always gives you away. You were ashamed at what you were doing. You cared about what he thought of you; cared if he judged you. Well, you're in for a rude awakening, sweetheart, because I'm sure he thought you were nothing but a slut! You think a guy like that would actually care about a worthless piece of shit like you? You should be happy I found you when I did and that I took care of you. Yet you still can't get through your fucking head that I own you. You are MINE to do with as I please. You don't have the luxury of feelings or dreams."

As hard as she tried, gravity took a single tear out of the pool that had begun welling up in her eyes. Cato took this as his answer.

"You'd only cry if you felt guilty and you'd only feel guilty if you knew you did something wrong," he said, eerily calm. "I'm going to teach you a lesson so maybe, this time, you fucking learn."

He grabbed her shoulders again and turned her around. The side of her face impacted the brick of the building as her hands came up in an attempt to brace herself.

"Spread your legs," he barked at her.

Katniss didn't try to hold her tears in anymore. She had never seen Cato like this before. He'd treated her badly, berated her and hit her, but all of that was nothing compared to this.

She cursed her emotions and the fact that she couldn't help feeling embarrassed that Peeta Mellark knew her secret. She cursed her face for giving her away; that Cato figured her out.

Finally, she cursed those piercing blue eyes, the eyes that made her feel such a wide range of emotions that she felt out of control every time she saw them.

Katniss didn't know what to do. She quickly considered her options.

She could fight back, but she knew what Cato was capable of when he was angry and the rage he held towards her now was volcanic. She knew she didn't stand a chance.

Maybe she could plead with him, hope he would hear the fear in her voice, calm down and leave her be. This rarely worked and there was a slim chance to none that it would work now.

She toyed with her final option: stay quiet and take her punishment; accept that this was her life now.

Katniss still had a small amount of pride left but decided that fighting back in any physical manner would only make Cato even angrier. Instead she cried and pleaded with him. "Please, Cato." she sobbed, "Don't do this..."

His reaction was exactly like she expected.

"Shut your fucking mouth and spread your legs".

He grabbed her hips and she trembled as she kept her face and palms against the brick wall, sticking her bottom out and unsteadily complying with Cato. He rubbed her legs up and down, first on her outer thighs and then her inner thighs as she shivered in fear. He began berating her again, dragging it all out.

"Under it all, you are nothing but a common whore. I'm just going to take a second and enjoy this sight, and then I'm going to fuck you so that you remember whose whore you are."

Katniss could feel his eyes on her and her stomach lurched, threatening to make her vomit.

"No, Cato. Please," she continued to plead. She heard him undo his buckle and unzip his pants. Her determination to beg was slowly fading.

"Please, don't," she managed to sob out, her last, pathetic attempt to stop him. She prepared herself for his invasion.

"I believe the lady said no".

The voice was familiar and Katniss turned her head to find Peeta Mellark in the alleyway, illuminated by the street light, his fists clenched tightly.

Again the confusing flood of emotions overtook her; he seemed to have this effect on her every time she saw him. She was embarrassed that he had to see her in such a compromising position. But more than anything, she felt gratitude; gratitude that he had felt the need to intervene, that he must have heard the commotion and come to her rescue. She could tell that Peeta was the kind of person who couldn't stand by and ignore a person in need.

Katniss had had trouble reading him while she was dancing for him. For a while, she was afraid that he held contempt for her for subjecting herself to a line of work that many considered disgraceful. But his intrusion on the scene had proved to her that maybe Peeta Mellark wasn't capable of judging people or holding grudges.

Perhaps Cato was the exception to that rule in this moment.

Cato turned to find Peeta, clearly agitated that he was being interrupted. "Mind your own fucking business and get out of here."

Peeta took a step forward. "I'm afraid I can't do that."

Katniss was impressed at how calm Peeta's voice sounded, but as she continued to watch him with tear-filled eyes, she couldn't help but see the strain in his arms and fists; a strain that provided a glimpse into the anger he currently possessed.

Cato was not one to shy away from confrontation. Katniss felt a slight wave of relief as he stepped away from her, towards Peeta. Her panic set in again, however, when she imagined the two getting into a physical altercation over her.

She could tell that Peeta would be able to handle himself against Cato should it come to that, but she wouldn't be able to forgive herself if Peeta got hurt trying to defend her.

The tension was thick as the two sized each other up; Katniss only had enough energy in her body to slowly squat, hug her knees, and lean her weight against the brick wall.

The scene was interrupted when the back door to the club opened.

"Alright you horny kids. I hate to interrupt but..."

Johanna took in the scene she had stumbled upon, first processing the two broad shouldered blondes who were clearly ready to attack each other, and then noticing Katniss's huddled form, tear-streaked face and empty expression. "What the fuck is going on out here?"

Johanna's first instinct was to rush to Katniss, squat down with her and take her face in both her palms. She saw Katniss's red cheek, tear-streaked make up, and the abrasions that had appeared from having her face against the brick.

Cato, clearly thrown off after Johanna's intrusion, refocused his attention to Peeta. He took a couple deep breaths and spat on the ground.

"Whatever. You're not even worth the effort."

* * *

Before Peeta could respond, Cato had already turned around and his large frame disappeared through the back entrance of the club. Peeta was ready to fight Cato but the mortified look he caught on Katniss's face pleaded with him not to. That slight hesitation was all Cato needed to leave Peeta behind, silently fuming.

After he watched Cato leave, Peeta finally focused his attention back to Katniss, who was being attended to by one of the other dancers. The shorthaired brunette tenderly assessed Katniss's injuries until she turned her gaze to Peeta. He remembered her name was Johanna.

Peeta started to approach the two women but the look Johanna gave him froze him in place.

At first he was confused, but he slowly came to the realization that perhaps Johanna had misunderstood the situation; that she thought Peeta had been the one who attacked Katniss and that Cato had intervened. He felt the need to correct her but before he could, Johanna slowly helped Katniss to her feet and led her back into the club.

Peeta thought more and more about the scene he had found.

He was furious at the way Cato treated Katniss. After walking out for fresh air, he heard the angry voice. As he tried to locate the source, he could hear the degrading things that were being yelled. He couldn't stand the idea that someone would verbally abuse another person like that.

But when he finally stumbled on the scene, discovered that the target of the verbal onslaught was none other than Katniss, and had finally processed what exactly Cato had intended on doing to her, the anger he felt was nothing like he had ever experienced before. But as his thoughts raced in his head, Peeta couldn't shake one particularly nagging feeling.

Maybe he was the reason this had happened.

Peeta considered the idea.

Of course, nothing could excuse Cato's behavior. But he couldn't help but believe that his reaction to Katniss's performance had been a triggering factor in what had just transpired before him and felt sick thinking that his actions had even remotely contributed to what Katniss had experienced.

He cursed himself for the effect she had on him, the lack of control he seemed to have around her. The night before, after hearing her sing on stage, he had vowed to do whatever he could to drive away the pain and sadness that had enveloped her performance. Peeta already felt like he had failed.

* * *

Johanna sat Katniss down in the dressing room and went to get something to clean her face. As she sat and waited for Johanna, Katniss caught a glimpse of herself in the mirror.

She was emotionally exhausted and it showed in her face; her eyes were empty and hopeless. She didn't even have the strength to cry anymore. She just stared straight forward; her eyes focusing on nothing.

Johanna came back and washed the dirt from her face with a damp cloth and tucked her hair behind her ear. Katniss wasn't used to this side of Johanna. Katniss would have probably teased her about it if she didn't feel so hopeless.

"Did he do this to you?" Johanna asked, apprehensively. Katniss wasn't sure whom Johanna was referring to so she just stayed silent. "Was it the guy you danced for?"

Katniss choked back a sob and shook her head no.

"It was Cato?"

There was a slight hint of confusion in Johanna's voice. Somehow Katniss's body found a hidden reserve of strength and her body was again overtaken by heaving sobs. Johanna took that as her answer. She stroked Katniss's hair and tried to hush her.

* * *

Johanna was angry. She couldn't believe that Cato would do something like this to Katniss. She knew that he was possessive but never believed that Cato would take it this far.

She couldn't let Katniss go back to his apartment, not after this. Johanna didn't care that Cato was her boss; fuck him for hurting Katniss this way.

Despite their shifts not being over for another two hours, Johanna called a cab to pick them up. She placed her coat on Katniss's shoulders and led her out to the waiting taxi. Johanna told the driver the address to her apartment and sat down in the back seat with Katniss. She led her up to her apartment and tucked Katniss into bed.

* * *

After Johanna put her to bed and left the room, Katniss replayed the night's events. She couldn't believe her terrible luck. Of the millions of men in this city, of course her VIP had to be Peeta Mellark.

Her thoughts again wandered to those blue eyes, trying to remember the expression behind them when she danced and when he rescued her from Cato. She remembered expecting to see disappointment, maybe even disgust.

But as she continued to think about those eyes, there was only one thing she could remember reading from them: concern.

Katniss couldn't fathom why he would be concerned about her. All she knew was that the look in his blue eyes during both of her performances had found a way to empower her now.

Suddenly, Katniss could feel her confidence rising. Even without the financial security of the scholarship, she would quit her job and leave Cato.

Again, Katniss thought of Peeta Mellark's blue eyes the night of her banquet performance. She vowed to make the world see what he had seen in her that night.

Feeling determined, Katniss fell into a calm and restful sleep.

* * *

When Katniss walked into the kitchen the next morning, Johanna already had breakfast prepared. Katniss silently began devouring her food while Johanna waited patiently for Katniss to explain what had happened the night before.

"I knew him," Katniss finally began, not elaborating further.

"Who? The birthday boy?" Johanna inquired.

"Yeah. I met him the night before, at the scholarship banquet." Johanna was one of the few people who knew about the scholarship; Katniss trusted that Johanna knew better than to mention it to Cato. "We danced, made awkward conversation. That was it. I actually didn't know who he was at first..."

"You didn't know he was the rich and famous Peeta Mellark?" Johanna interrupted "Man, you really are brainless."

For a second it seemed like Johanna had regretted what she had said, probably remembering the night that Katniss had endured. Katniss simply scowled at her, knowing Johanna hadn't meant anything by it.

Katniss continued her explanation. "But when I realized that he was my customer last night, I panicked. I had gotten used to detaching myself from my performances, but knowing he had recognized me made me realize how ashamed I was. I don't know why, but I cared about what he thought about me."

"I'll tell you why." Johanna offered, "He's rich. And devastatingly handsome." Her tone had a hint of sarcasm.

Katniss rolled her eyes. "Its more than that" she explained. "I could see his expression when I sang at the banquet. The look he gave me when he watched me sing; it made me really proud. It almost reaffirmed my love and passion for singing. Even after I found out I lost the scholarship, I held onto that expression; it gave me hope. But to see him the next night; to know he was going to watch me doing something I hated myself for..."

"But that was the best I had ever seen you, Katniss!"

Katniss pondered Johanna's statement. "I guess I thought 'If I have to ruin his image of me, I might as well give him my best performance.' Cato noticed, though..."

"You can't go back to him." Johanna insisted. "Hell, even I'm going to quit after seeing the way he treated you. That bastard's not going to earn another penny from me."

"I know." Katniss assured Johanna "After realizing how ashamed I was and seeing what Cato was capable of, I couldn't bear going back to all of it. I still have loans to pay off and Prim's starting college soon. But I'll figure something out."

"**We'll **figure something out." Johanna corrected. "You're not the only one that's about to be unemployed!"

Katniss smiled into her coffee cup at Johanna's statement. As confident as she felt about her decision, she couldn't help but feel even better knowing she wasn't going to be alone.

* * *

**A/N:** I hope you guys enjoyed this chapter! For those of you who haven't looked at my profile, I'm actually working on three different Modern Day A/U Everlark fics. That plot bunny really bit me hard once I decided to start writing. I have a pharmacotherapy exam coming up on Monday but would love to get at least one chapter out this weekend, and I can't decide whether to make it Chapter 4 of this fic, or the first chapter of my fic "Something Old, Something New." Check out the description in my profile and leave a review to let me know which you'd prefer to see next, as well as what you thought about this chapter! Thanks!


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4: Something Beautiful to Give

**Six Months Later**

Peeta stared at his watch, frustrated. He was supposed to meet Finnick for lunch but his friend was late, as usual. While he waited for Finn to arrive, Peeta sipped his beer and let his mind wander. Even half a year later, Peeta's thoughts would gravitate towards her: her voice, her face, her expressions, her body…

Peeta shook his head, trying to rid himself of those thoughts. As much as he wished he were the better man, sometimes he couldn't help but think about Katniss as she glided towards him on that stage over six months before.

But he quickly reminded himself of the events that followed and instantly felt guilty. He didn't deserve to think about her, yet she still found a way to constantly occupy his thoughts.

In the days that followed the incident at Cray's Cabaret, Peeta fought with the desire to find Katniss and apologize. After much internal deliberation, he concluded that she probably wanted nothing to do with him. After all, his brief appearance in her life had only been associated with traumatic events: losing the scholarship and then Cato's jealous rampage. He was sure his presence in her life would only conjure up bad memories.

Still, that didn't stop him from sending Finnick back to Cray's a week after the incident to see if Katniss was still working there.

Finnick proved to be the perfect inside-man when it came to getting information from the dancers at Cray's. Thanks to his looks, the girls were more than willing to answer all of his questions; filling him in on every detail of the drama that had unfolded after the altercation on Peeta's birthday. Through Finnick's "research" he informed Peeta that both Katniss and another dancer, Johanna, had left after that night and not come back.

Cato had been furious at first, but was quick to find a replacement; it turns out that he and another dancer, Clove, had been sleeping together behind Katniss's back for months.

As relieved as he was to find out that Katniss had quit, he partly regretted having Finnick go undercover to gather information for him.

Before Finnick agreed, he had grilled Peeta about why it was so important to find out about this girl. Eventually Peeta confessed that the girl he met at the scholarship banquet and the dancer from Cray's were, in fact, the same person. Luckily, that was enough to convince Finnick to check Cray's, but it didn't stop his best friend from teasing Peeta mercilessly, mainly in the form of Finnick blasting the song "I'm in Love with a Stripper" on Peeta's home stereo every chance he got. Each time, Peeta would defend Katniss reminding Finn that she was a _dancer_, not a stripper, but Finnick would only roll his eyes and turn the stereo up even louder.

In the last few months, Peeta began taking a bigger responsibility in his family's business and investments. After watching Katniss's performance at the scholarship banquet, he took up an interest in musical theater. He approached his parents on the possibility of financing a Broadway musical and although they were apprehensive at first, they couldn't help but feel a bit of pride that their youngest son was finally showing an interest in the family business.

Still, it had taken some convincing for them to finally give in. Peeta emphasized the importance of the arts, assured them of the potential returns on their investment should the show succeed, urged them to try their hand in something new. He couldn't help but feel excited when his parents finally agreed.

However, he had to admit to himself that underneath it all, his sudden enthusiasm for entering the world of musical theater had sprung from more selfish beginnings. Deep down, he thought that by entering this world, her world, maybe their paths would cross again.

His thoughts were interrupted as Finnick finally plopped down into the seat in front of him. "About time," Peeta said, exasperated.

"I'm sorry, I was... occupied," Finnick smirked.

"Oh, really. Who, exactly, were you occupying this time?"

Finnick chuckled at his friend and winked. "A man doesn't kiss and tell. Anyway, we'll have plenty of time to eat and make it to the theater."

Peeta had an appointment later that day to sit in on auditions for an upcoming revival of Les Miserables. Before he committed to investing into the show, he wanted to see the kind of talent they were working with.

When he found out about the opportunity, he couldn't help but remember that the song Katniss had sung on the night of the banquet had come from that same musical. Though he wasn't usually superstitious, he took the coincidence to be some sort of sign from the universe.

Peeta had invited Finnick to join him for moral support; after all, Peeta was crossing into unfamiliar territory and could use a second opinion.

The two men ate their lunch and made casual conversation, filling each other in on new life developments. After Finnick finished indulging Peeta with the details of his latest female conquests, he found the need to inquire about Peeta's love life.

"So, how are things going with Delly?"

Delia Cartwright came from old money and was exactly the kind of girl Peeta's mother dreamed he would date. In fact, his mother was the one who had introduced them in the first place.

At first, Peeta was against the idea; he knew that his mother was just looking to maintain the family's reputation and dating a daughter from a family as respected as the Cartwright's was a perfect way to boost the Mellark family image.

He didn't want to like Delia, but after meeting her he had to admit that there wasn't much **not **to like. She was surprisingly down-to-earth and friendly and Peeta found her easy to talk to. They got along pretty well since she could relate to the pressures of being a part of a famous family, and it was just an added bonus that his mother was so approving of their relationship. Peeta's mother was so critical of her youngest son that Peeta was relieved that his relationship with Delly could finally appease her in some way. The gossip magazines constantly buzzed about the relationship between the offspring of two American powerhouses.

"Fine," Peeta admitted truthfully as he took an extra long sip of his beer. "I think my mom wants me to propose."

"Propose?" Finnick scoffed. "You've only been seeing each other for four months!"

"I know. I think she just wants to make the Mellark-Cartwright partnership official as soon as she can. More about politics than anything else."

Finnick raised an eyebrow. "So... are you going to?"

"I don't know. She's nice. We get along well. I just can't tell if it's love or not."

"Well I'm no expert on love," Finnick confessed, "but the fact that you're questioning it doesn't seem like the best sign."

Peeta shrugged his shoulders and took another sip of his drink.

"Are you still hung up on that stripper?" Peeta shot Finnick an angry look. "I'm sorry. **_Dancer_**," the last word punctuated by air quotations.

Rather than answer Finnick's question, Peeta downed the rest of his beer and glanced at his watch. "Hurry up or we're going to be late."

"I'll take that as a 'yes'?"

* * *

Katniss couldn't help but appreciate the shift in the universe after that night six months ago. Her newfound determination was beginning to be rewarded and things were slowly, but surely, falling into place. Her life was far from perfect, however, but she was happy for her small victories: graduating from college, quitting her job at Cray's, having Cato out of her life.

After spending so long stressing about how difficult it would be to leave Cato, she was finding that, in reality, it had been surprisingly easy. As possessive as Cato had been during their relationship, he didn't come looking for her after the incident in the back alley at Cray's.

Maybe it was the fear that she would report him to the police. Maybe he knew that he couldn't control her anymore. Maybe he had just gotten tired of her. Whatever the reason, it didn't matter. Although the events of that night had traumatized her and caused her nightmares, she had slowly learned to take back control of her life over the past six months.

Now she was free to make her own decisions, to pursue her dreams.

Professor Abernathy even helped find her a new job as an assistant to a Broadway costume designer named Cinna. She didn't make nearly the amount of money that she had made dancing at Cray's but she was more than happy to be working at a job she enjoyed; one that was more relevant to her career path. She and Cinna hit it off right away and he became one of her best friends.

Katniss also got some help in the financial department when Prim won a freshman scholarship at the University of Panem. She attended the banquet and watched as Miss Effie Trinket opened the envelope and pulled out the slip of paper that Katniss prayed held Prim's name.

When Miss Trinket announced "Primrose Everdeen" the winner, Katniss couldn't help but push through the crowd to the front of the stage; the first to congratulate her little sister. She couldn't have been prouder; Prim had won out of the thousands that had applied.

Katniss recalled the events of her own scholarship banquet and was grateful that it had played out differently for Prim. But she couldn't help but feel a bit disappointed when she realized that Peeta Mellark wasn't in attendance.

Now that her finances were in better shape, Katniss allowed herself the chance to follow her dream of being on Broadway. Cinna kept her up-to-date on all the opportunities and auditions being held. At first she was skeptical and unsure of herself, but when Cinna told her about the open casting call for a revival of Les Miserables, she took it as a sign and made the decision to audition.

As the audition date approached, Katniss consulted with Professor Abernathy about what she should perform. She knew her voice was her best shot at getting a part, so she had to make sure to pick the perfect song.

She toyed with the idea of going the easy route and just singing one of the songs from Les Miserables, maybe from the character she was auditioning for, Eponine. Professor Abernathy shot down the idea.

"You need to show them who you are, so you need to pick a song that has meaning to you. Besides, every other girl at the audition is going to sing a song from the musical itself. You'll stand out better if you sing something different. And one more piece of advice: Don't play with your damn necklace."

Now here she was on the subway, nervously clutching her headshot and sheet music on her way to the audition. Katniss had asked Johanna to join her but she wasn't able to get time off from work. Cinna offered to come and support her, instead, and would be meeting her at the theater.

She arrived and nervously waited backstage for her turn. There were a lot of girls auditioning and that intimidated her. What were the chances that she would get the part?

Katniss couldn't help but pace back and forth, playing with her necklace. Inside her head, she spoke to her father, knowing that he would know what to say in this moment to calm her nerves. Katniss reminded herself of the love she felt every time she sang; how it made her feel close to him again and that was enough to diminish some of the anxiety. Cinna found her backstage and did his best to boost her confidence.

Katniss heard her name called by the stage manager and the panic set in. Cinna calmly smiled at her and fixed the pendant on her necklace. "If I could bet, my money would be on you." He kissed her forehead and gently pushed her towards the stage.

The lights were bright and it took Katniss a second to get her bearings. She walked towards the pianist, handed them her sheet music, and made her way towards the taped "X" on the stage as she had been instructed to do.

"Katniss Everdeen, is it?" asked a middle-aged man who Katniss could only assume was the director. "Unique name. What are you going to sing for us today?"

Katniss cleared her throat, trying to keep her nerves at bay. "Its called 'Second Hand White Baby Grand'. From the TV show Smash. But I changed a couple of words, if that's alright."

The director nodded at Katniss and then to the pianist, indicating that it was okay to begin. She fought the urge to touch her pendant and suddenly felt her anxiety rise and threaten to overtake her body.

As the piano introduction started to play, she suddenly recalled the piercing blue eyes of Peeta Mellark; the crutch she had used when she was on stage six months prior. Katniss felt her body calm as she took a deep breath and began to sing.

* * *

So far, Peeta Mellark was unimpressed. He kept reminding himself that auditions had just begun, that today they were only auditioning for one role out of the dozen that the musical had to offer, but none of the girls who had auditioned for Eponine had succeeded in grabbing his attention.

He wasn't too worried; the monetary offer he had made to the director, Seneca Crane, was dependent on what he saw from the auditions. The starting number Peeta had quoted wasn't very high to begin with, anyway.

Finnick seemed to be enjoying himself; always appreciating the opportunity to take in some eye candy. Peeta, on the other hand, had resigned himself to checking e-mails and playing Angry Birds on his smart phone. He was stuck on a particularly challenging level and was starting to get frustrated when Finnick suddenly started elbowing him.

Annoyed, he whispered, "What the hell, Finn. I was about to line up the perfect shot."

But Finnick was persistent. Peeta finally looked at his friend, wondering what had gotten into him when he realized that Finn was pointing to the stage. Before he could turn his attention to the source of Finn's pointing, he heard Seneca's voice.

"Katniss Everdeen, is it?"

A lump appeared in Peeta's throat and his heart rate doubled in a matter of seconds. His body temperature spiked and he could feel the blood rush to his face and his ears. Suddenly everything sounded muffled as he watched Katniss standing on stage.

She must have been talking; he could see her lips moving but he couldn't make out any of the words. He could barely make out the sounds of the piano as she took a deep breath. Peeta watched as the tension left her body the second she started to sing. It reminded him of the night of the banquet six months ago when he had made a similar observation. Her voice cut through the fog that had enveloped his hearing and he silently thanked the heavens for granting him the privilege of hearing her sing again.

_My father bought it second hand from a silent movie star,  
It was out of tune, but still I learned to play.  
And with each note we both would smile, forgetting who we are,  
And all the pain would simply fly away._

_Something second hand and broken_  
_Still can make a pretty sound_  
_Even if it doesn't have a place to live._  
_Oh, the words were left unspoken when my Papa came around_  
_But that second-hand white baby grand_  
_Still had something beautiful to give._

Peeta remembered how every audition so far had been cut off early. He found the strength to glance over to Seneca, silently willing him to keep his hand down; to let her finish. He saw the look on Seneca's face and knew that he had nothing to worry about. Relieved, he turned his attention back to Katniss, trying to soak in the beauty and emotion of every note that left her lips.  
_  
So now I wake up every day and see her standing there  
Just waiting for a partner to compose  
And I wish my father still could hear that sound beyond compare  
I'll play his song 'til everybody knows_

_That something second-hand and broken_  
_Still can make a pretty sound_  
_Don't we all deserve a family room to live?_  
_Oh, the words can't stay unspoken until everyone has found..._  
_That second-hand white baby grand that still has something beautiful to give_

_I still have something beautiful to give..._

Peeta released the breath he was holding and realized that no body was clapping. He watched her thank the panel and walk off the stage. He was finally brought back to reality by Finnick's voice.

"Damn, Peeta. You weren't kidding. And I thought her dancing was good..."

* * *

Katniss breathed the last note of the song, relieved that she had made her way through it. She had been waiting for the director to cut her off but was surprised when his hand never rose to stop her.

This being her first real audition, she wasn't entirely familiar with the protocol, so she tried not to think much of it when no body applauded. She wasn't really sure what to do next so she simply thanked her audience and walked off stage. She figured they would call her back if they needed any more.

Katniss found Cinna waiting for her in the wings and she saw his face beaming. As soon as she was out of sight from the audience, he threw his arms around her and swung her around. "You were amazing! I'm so proud of you!"

Katniss couldn't help but share in his enthusiasm as she smiled from ear to ear. "So, now what?" she asked Cinna, knowing that he had far more experience with the process than she did.

"Now, we wait for the phone to ring!"

* * *

Peeta paid even less attention to the rest of auditions after Katniss had finished. In his mind, there was no point. Katniss deserved that role, and Peeta was ready to do what he needed to to make sure of it.

Finnick had already left while Peeta stayed behind, hoping to catch Seneca on his way out. Peeta leaned against the wall next to the stage door, twiddling his thumbs from excitement and nervousness. His peripheral vision caught the stage door open and he watched as the director made his way out.

"Seneca!" Peeta called out. Seneca turned around and waited as Peeta caught up to him. "Have you made any decisions? On the role of Eponine?"

Seneca hesitated for a moment before responding. "Why? Do you have some input?"

"Katniss Everdeen," Peeta practically shouted. "I think you should give it to Katniss Everdeen."

Peeta watched as Seneca tried to place the name. "Katniss Everdeen..." Seneca pondered. "Oh yes, I remember. She was quite good. She's only one out of the dozens we saw today. We still have a lot of things to consider."

"What do I need to do to make sure she gets the role?" Peeta pleaded. "She was by far the best audition today. Light years ahead of anybody else."

Seneca appeared to weigh his options. "As a newcomer in this business you seem very sure about this girl, Mr. Mellark... I wonder if you'd be willing to put your money where your mouth is, as they say?"

"What are you asking, Seneca?"

Seneca smirked. "Perhaps another zero added to the end of your original offer would suffice. You're asking me to take a big risk casting this Katniss Everdeen. She doesn't have much experience or credentials. I only ask that you take a similar risk if you expect me to cast somebody so... green."

Peeta considered the proposal. Seneca was asking for a lot more money than Peeta had originally intended to invest. But the sound of Katniss's voice was fresh in his mind.

"Sure. Consider it done."

"Marvelous." Seneca extended his hand and Peeta eagerly shook it.

He couldn't help but notice the smug grin that Seneca had on his face, but Peeta didn't think much of it. After all, he just landed Katniss a role in the show. He could finally feel partly responsible for making her feel something other than sorrow or despair. And in the back of his mind, he knew that her presence in the musical would provide more opportunities for him to see her.

Peeta turned and began walking away from Seneca, feeling triumphant. But he heard Seneca's voice address him again.

"Mr. Mellark, you have a lot to learn about this business."

Peeta turned around and again met Seneca's smug expression. "Pardon me?"

"I would have cast Katniss Everdeen for the role, regardless of your... generous investment," Seneca smirked as he turned and walked away.

The businessman in Peeta should have been furious. He should have confronted Seneca for his deceit, threatened to withdraw his investment all together. But not an ounce of his body had regretted his decision.

Perhaps he was a little ashamed at his lack of confidence in Katniss's ability. He knew that she was the best candidate for the role but he had severely underestimated the effect that she had on everyone else.

A slight moment of panic overcame him as he imagined explaining to his parents how their investment in the show had multiplied by ten. Peeta pushed away the feeling and would deal the consequences later. For now, he allowed his thoughts to be filled by Katniss.

* * *

**A/N: **Hey everyone! Thanks to everybody who has taken the time to review, follow and favorite! I reached 100 followers today, so I thought I would reward you all by getting this chapter out a little earlier than I had planned. For some reason, a wave of insecurity hit me while I was thinking about this story, but after reading your encouraging reviews, I'm really excited to share the rest of it as time goes on. First-time writer's anxiety, I guess. Anyway, I would love to hear what you guys thought about this chapter! Thanks for reading!


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5: Comfortable Distance

Cinna tried his best to reassure her that she had gotten the part. Katniss wanted to believe him; he seemed so sure about it that she found it hard not to get caught up in his wave of excitement. But until the phone rang with an offer, she still left open the possibility that she hadn't gotten the role.

She didn't need to wait long for confirmation.

The day Katniss got the call, she was with Johanna at the apartment. The phone rang and it was from a number she didn't recognize. She tried not to get her hopes up; it could just be a wrong number.

She picked up the phone and answered it. Johanna watched as she conversed on the phone, weighing Katniss's reaction. Katniss turned to Johanna, her eyes wide.

"I got the part."

"No kidding, brainless," Johanna said, smiling and pulling Katniss into a hug. Johanna wasn't usually an advocate for physical displays and Katniss was caught off guard. But Katniss was too happy to over-analyze her friend's display of affection.

She spent the rest of the afternoon calling other friends and family: Prim, Cinna, Professor Abernathy, Madge, and even her mother, and informed them of the news.

Workshops started in a week. Katniss didn't know if she could wait that long.

That night, she was too excited to get any sleep. As she lay in bed, Katniss grabbed the pendant on the end of her necklace and kissed it. "Thank you, daddy," she whispered.

* * *

"Peeta, are you alright? You seem distracted."

Delly's voice cut into Peeta's thoughts and he tried focused his attention to the blonde woman sitting across the table from him. "I'm sorry, just a lot on my mind I guess." He flashed her a small smile.

"You can talk to me about it," she reassured him.

Peeta took a deep breath and wondered what to say. A part of him felt guilty at how his life had been turned upside-down after he saw Katniss at her audition. That a girl that he had barely interacted with had such an effect on him, even when a beautiful, kind woman was sitting right in front of him, wasn't fair and he knew it.

"I'm just nervous about this Broadway investment. My parents are putting a lot of pressure on me, especially after I invested even more money into it that we had originally agreed upon. Workshops are starting tomorrow and I guess I'm anxious."

Delly reached across the table to grab his hand. "It will be fine. You have an eye for art and talent. Don't be so hard on yourself." She gave him a soft smile and squeezed his hand.

They continued with their dinner and Peeta tried his best to listen to what Delly was saying. He vaguely recalled her mentioning a family trip to Europe, though his mind could not seem to process when and for how long.

His efforts to remain in engaged in the conversation were futile, however. All he could think about was Katniss. That he would see get to see her in less than 24 hours.

* * *

Katniss arrived at the building where they were holding the workshops almost two hours before they were scheduled to start. She left the house early, telling herself that she just wanted to make sure she had enough time to find the place.

Now she felt foolish and resorted to killing time at a nearby coffee shop. The clock moved agonizingly slowly but when it was a half hour before the scheduled start time, she couldn't bear waiting anymore and made her way into the studio.

She was relieved when she saw that a few other cast members had already arrived. Katniss wasn't sure of how these things worked, so she was thankful when a few of them approached her and introduced themselves.

After being thrown into this brand new situation, it was to be expected that her hand would naturally find the pendant on her neck. Just as she was getting her bearings and becoming comfortable with the atmosphere around her, she could sense a body standing directly behind her. Before she could turn around and see who it was, he spoke.

"That's a really nice necklace."

She spun around so fast it made her dizzy. The blue eyes that greeted her rendered her speechless, again, and the two of them stood in silence for a period of time just looking at each other. She could sense his uneasiness as he struggled for what to say.

"Miss Everdeen, I don't know if you remember me... From the-"

"I do," Katniss interrupted him. Her face flushed and she continued, "I mean, yes. I remember you... from the scholarship banquet." She broke their gaze and stared at her feet. "And please, call me Katniss."

She couldn't understand her compulsion to interrupt his sentence. Katniss knew that he wouldn't reveal her past life as a dancer at Cray's. Despite their limited interaction, she felt like she could trust him.

"I'm glad. That you remember me. And that you're here. I can still remember when you sang that night; that song is in this musical, right?"

Katniss thought she could hear a slight amount of nervousness in his voice. She must have been imagining it because there was absolutely no reason why Peeta Mellark should ever be nervous speaking to somebody like her.

"Yes," she responded. "But I'm playing a different role, so I won't be singing that song in the show itself."

"That's too bad. You sang it beautifully."

"Thank you, Mr. Mellark." She built up the courage to look up at him and saw that he had smile on his face.

"Peeta," he corrected. She returned his smile with one of her own.

Their moment was interrupted when Seneca Crane, director, walked into the studio, clapping his hands together demanding everyone's attention. Peeta flashed her another smile as he went to the front of the room to join the director, producers, and other staff. Seneca motioned for the cast to sit and they all squatted and settled onto the hardwood floor.

Seneca began by welcoming them all and thanking them for devoting their time to the Broadway revival of Les Miserables. The cast clapped and Katniss joined them.

Seneca continued by introducing his staff. Katniss knew that she should be paying attention to the names; after all, these people would all be her superiors throughout this process. However, she couldn't help but sit and wonder what the hell Peeta Mellark was doing here.

She didn't realize she was staring at him until his gaze caught hers and she quickly looked away. From her peripheral vision, she thought she caught his frame shake as he chuckled. Her face burned in embarrassment.

Eventually, Seneca's speech addressed her most burning question.

"I'd like you all to extend a very warm welcome to Mr. Peeta Mellark. He is one of the principle investors in our project and will be sitting in on our sessions from time to time. Do you have any words for our cast, Mr. Mellark?"

Peeta took a step forward and spoke to the group. "Hello, everyone. I am very excited to be a part of this journey with all of you. I'm new to all of this 'Broadway investment' stuff so please, be gentle with me."

A couple of giggles interrupted the silence and Katniss scanned the room for their source. She noticed that he held everybody's attention, especially the females. A pang of jealousy hit her as she caught a few of them sending him suggestive looks.

Katniss silently cursed herself for feeling that way; she had no claim on him, what right did she have to be jealous?

Peeta continued to speak, "Even if this is my first time doing this, I can tell that we have a lot of really passionate people and, most of all, some really amazing talent." She caught his gaze, again. "So, congratulations to all of you for being chosen to be a part of this really great opportunity." The room erupted in applause as Peeta stepped back in line with the rest of his partners.

"On that note," Seneca announced, "let's get this show on the road!"

* * *

For the past six months, Peeta nearly believed himself to be crazy for being as enamored with Katniss Everdeen as he was, but the brief interaction they had shared during the first workshop only served to prove himself sane. She had no idea, the effect she could have.

Everything Katniss did had endeared her to him. Peeta couldn't help but notice the way she looked down at her feet in embarrassment, how red her cheeks got when he caught her staring at him, the jealous looks she unconsciously sent to every female in the crowd when she noticed that they were watching him.

The entire workshop, Peeta resisted the urge to run up to her and kiss her square on the mouth. He caught her stealing glances towards him as they did their vocal warm ups. He could sense her nervousness and slight intimidation as the other main cast members practiced their solo parts. Then when it came to her turn, he watched as she held his gaze as she sang and disappeared into her own world, a world he felt honored to get a glimpse of.

As the workshop approached an end, Peeta started to feel greedy. He wasn't satisfied with these few hours of watching Katniss in her element; he needed to spend more time with her, preferably alone.

Peeta found an excuse to stay behind as the cast members gathered their belongings and left the studio. He chatted with the director, even a few of the cast members, all the while tracking Katniss and waiting for the best opportunity to speak with her.

She was one of the few people left in the studio when he finally decided it was the right time.

"Katniss!" he called.

* * *

Katniss had purposefully gathered her things at a tortoise's pace. She wanted to cherish these last few moments basking in the glow of the studio. Her dream of being on Broadway was coming to fruition and the fact that she had just finished her first day of workshop was proof of that.

Katniss noticed that Peeta hadn't left the studio yet, either. She figured a few more minutes with Peeta Mellark in her day were just an added bonus. With her stuff finally together, she made her way for the exit when she heard him call her name.

She stopped dead in her tracks and turned around only to find Peeta walking towards her.

"I was wondering, if you were busy. Would you like to grab a bite to eat with me?"

"Right now?" she asked, dumbfounded.

"Sure," he chuckled. "That is, if you're free."

Katniss again dared herself to look him in the eyes; the eyes that she knew she couldn't deny anything.

"Yeah..." she managed to respond. "Okay."

Before Katniss could process what was happening, the two of them were already being seated at a small Bistro about a block from the studio. They must have walked there in complete silence and Katniss silently cursed her terrible conversational skills.

Along the way she was fighting an internal battle on whether getting food with Peeta was a good idea. As naive as she was about his status the first time they met, Katniss was now fully aware of the public life of Peeta Mellark.

She never paid much attention to the gossip magazines before, but after their encounter six months ago, she couldn't help but skim through the pages every few weeks to see if his named appeared.

Katniss knew all about Delia Cartwright.

Despite her knowledge of Peeta's current relationship status, she reasoned that there wasn't a problem with her decision to accept Peeta's invitation. What kind of threat was little Katniss Everdeen to the tall, blonde, beautiful and rich Delia Cartwright?

Katniss was sure he just wanted to clear the air between them after that night six months ago; after all, they would be working pretty closely now that they were both involved in the Les Miserables revival. She scoured the menu and eventually settled on ordering the lamb stew. After the waiter took their menus, Peeta finally broke the silence.

"I'm really sorry."

Katniss looked up at him and could see the anguish in his eyes. It caught her off guard. "What do you have to be sorry for?" she questioned.

"For that night six months ago."

Katniss shifted uneasily in her chair. She knew the event he was referring to, but couldn't understand why he felt the need to apologize. It suddenly hit her that Peeta must have blamed himself, at least partly, for what happened that night with Cato. She wracked her brain for some kind of response when she heard him continue.

"I could have stopped it all the second I recognized you. It all happened so fast that I was in too much of a state of shock to do anything but sit there, paralyzed. To think that I had even the smallest contribution to what happened to you that night... I want you to know that I'm sorry."

Katniss could see the sincerity through his expression and it killed her to know that, for the past six months, he had blamed himself.

She didn't know what came over her but she reached across the table and squeezed his hand. Katniss felt electricity shoot up her arm but she held his hand in hers, waiting for him to look her in the eyes. When his blue eyes finally caught hers she smiled.

"You have nothing to be sorry about. You saved me. And not just when you intervened in the back alley. Meeting you at the banquet, then seeing you again the next night, it all helped fuel me towards the decision to make a better life for myself, to do something in my life that I was proud of. Everything that happened, it gave me the strength and the confidence to take charge of my life. And now, I'm closer to my dream that I had ever thought I would ever be. I don't know if any of this would have been possible, if it hadn't been for you..."

Her voice trailed off and Katniss immediately felt embarrassed at her admission. For someone who typically had trouble with words, everything that had built up over the last six months spilled effortlessly out of her.

She let go of his hand and avoided his gaze. The food arrived shortly afterwards and she was thankful for the momentary distraction.

As she ate her meal, she gathered up the courage to look up at him and the smile on his face almost blinded her.

She choked on a pickled pear from her lamb stew and began coughing uncontrollably.

As she reached for and gulped her water, she caught the look on his face. Katniss's coughs quickly gave way to her uncontrollable laughter, about what she wasn't sure.

Maybe it was sudden change in Peeta's expression: from schoolboy giddiness to complete and absolute terror.

Maybe it was the ridiculous idea that she was actually sitting in this restaurant dining with THE Peeta Mellark.

Maybe it was a defense mechanism to hide her mortification after she literally choked on her food as a result of seeing his smile.

She felt relief when she heard him join her, their laughter cutting through the stiff air of the restaurant.

Katniss wiped a tear from her eye using the corner of her napkin and smiled. The awkwardness that was building between them since the start of the meal had dissipated, and they were able to carry on a relatively normal and enjoyable conversation. Despite their turbulent history, Katniss couldn't deny how comfortable she felt around him.

This would be an interesting few months.

* * *

Peeta offered to drive Katniss home and tried to hide his excitement when she had accepted. He would take whatever time he could with Katniss, no matter how mundane the task was.

They arrived in front of her complex and before she got out of the car, Peeta couldn't help but feel greedy. "I had a lot of fun. We should do this again some time... As friends." He didn't know what compelled him to clarify his intentions but he didn't dwell on it too long after he heard her answer.

"Sure," she replied. "As friends."

Peeta eyes followed Katniss as she opened the car door and walked towards her apartment building, determined to not to waste a single chance to admire her beauty.

What he wasn't expecting was her to turn around just as she hit the steps. "I'm looking forward to working with you, Peeta." Her lips formed a small smile, and with that, she dashed up the steps and disappeared into the building.

Peeta lingered outside her apartment for a few more seconds, trying to compose himself.

He replayed the events of the meal the shared: the feel of her hand on his, the embarrassment that crept onto her face after her stunning confession, the sound of her laughter, the hint of a flirtatious smile she flashed him before she walked into her apartment building.

Katniss Everdeen continued to surprise and perplex him.

* * *

**A/N: **Thanks for reading! This, and the next chapter, will both serve more to move the plot along and set up the rest of the story so I apologize if they're a little short and lacking much action. If you stick around, I promise it will be worth it! Please review! :)


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6: Ransom To Be Paid

Katniss opened the door to her apartment and found Johanna and Madge, her old college roommate, sitting at the kitchen table. Their eyes snapped to her as they heard her enter. Katniss realized she was arriving home later than she had originally told them. She hoped that they weren't worried.

"So, how'd it go?" Madge inquired, eager to hear all about Katniss's first day of workshops.

"Fine. Good," Katniss responded, unsure on how much information to divulge to her friends.

"Looks like it was better than fine," Johanna observed. "You have this really cheesy smile on your face. What took you so long?"

Katniss tried to appear calm but couldn't will herself to stop smiling. "I grabbed a bite to eat. Sorry I forgot to say something."

Johanna didn't look convinced. "So, who exactly did you 'grab a bite' with?"

Katniss tried playing coy. "Who said I ate with anybody?" Johanna was unamused, while Madge walked up to Katniss with concern on her face and placed the back of her hand on Katniss's forehead.

"She doesn't have a fever," Madge stated. Katniss's friends seemed genuinely concerned at her odd behavior.

"Maybe she's love sick," Johanna teased as she pretended to gag on her finger.

Katniss scowled at her suggestion. "Shut up, Johanna. We both know that I'm not capable of feeling an emotion as... complicated as love. I gave up on all of that a long time ago."

"Oh, Katniss. That can't be true," Madge defended. "I know that everything with Cato was really tough but that wasn't love. Don't give up on something before you get the opportunity to experience the real thing!"

Madge was one of Katniss's best friends but sometimes it frustrated her how naïve she could be.

Madge worked in a high-end jewelry shop, a job she got through her father's connections, where the rich and famous went shopping for all their accessories; most importantly, engagement rings. Madge would constantly gush about what celebrity had come into the shop and bought a gorgeous ring that cost more than the house Katniss grew up in. It took everything Katniss had not to point out the fact that the same celebrity would end up divorced less than a year later.

Before Katniss could open her mouth in an attempt to shatter her friend's innocent views, Johanna cut into the conversation.

"Alright kids, that's enough of the sappy love talk. We know something is up, Katniss. Spill."

"...I was having dinner with Peeta," Katniss admitted.

Johanna furrowed her brow. "Peter? Peter who?"

"**Pee-ta**," Katniss enunciated. "As in Peeta Mellark."

Katniss couldn't help but be amused as she watched Madge's face come to grips with what she had just said. Her friend squealed and brought her hands to her face, shocked. "Peeta Mellark?! Why? I mean, when did-? How?"

Johanna just stood there and stared at Katniss with a smug look on her face. Katniss wondered how the hell she had two best friends that were such polar opposites. Katniss gave Madge another few seconds to process this information before she explained.

"It turns out he's one of the principle investors in the Les Miserables revival and he was at the workshop today. He recognized me from the scholarship banquet."

"Scholarship banquet. Riiiiiiiight," Johanna scoffed.

Katniss shot her a look; Madge wasn't aware of her old job dancing at Cray's. She just thought Katniss and Johanna were waitresses at a restaurant that Cato owned. Ignorance is bliss, especially in the case of sweet, innocent Madge.

Madge looked confused, then upset. "You never mentioned meeting Peeta at the scholarship banquet! Why didn't you tell me!"

"I'm sorry, Madge. Nothing really came out of it. After all, all we did was dance."

Johanna snickered and Katniss prayed that Madge didn't notice.

Madge looked a little hurt that Katniss had never told her about her initial encounter with Peeta Mellark but her friend quickly rebounded as she bombarded Katniss with questions about him and their dinner.

Katniss tried her best to answer, explaining to Madge that Peeta probably invited her out as a way to get to know his new cast members. Katniss refused to believe that he had any other kind of motive.

Madge seemed satisfied with Katniss's responses. "That's probably it; he's just building a working relationship with his cast. He seems like that kind of guy!" Madge concurred. "After all, isn't he dating Delia Cartwright? Rumors are swirling that they might get engaged soon!"

Katniss felt a tightness in her chest at Madge's utterance of the name. Despite her initial hesitation at Peeta's invitation, Katniss had conveniently forgotten about Peeta's very publicized relationship the entire dinner and Delia's name hadn't come up in any of their conversation.

Katniss wondered if she should feel guilty, but surely the dinner was meant for business purposes; after all, he would be paying a large portion of her paychecks. Yet she couldn't recall talking any business with him at all.

Regardless, it wasn't like they had done anything either of them should feel guilty for. They were just two people who happened to enjoy each other's company. They were just friends; Peeta had made that clear when he dropped her off at her apartment.

Thankfully, Madge dropped the subject and Katniss spent the rest of the night filling her two friends in on the details of the workshop.

* * *

Peeta was able to make it back to his apartment safely, despite how distracted he was thinking about his dinner with Katniss on the drive home.

He was so engrossed in his thoughts of her that he didn't notice that the lights in his apartment were on when he opened the front door. Instead, Peeta tossed off his shoes and plopped on the couch, feeling mentally and physically exhausted.

He jumped when he heard a female voice whisper inches from his ear.

"Hey..."

Peeta's entire body jolted off the couch as he turned around to find Delly smirking at him. "Holy- Delly! You scared the shit out of me!"

Delly giggled at his reaction. "I don't know why; I wasn't hiding or anything. The lights were on. I don't know how you missed me." She walked around the couch and sat down, patting the cushion next to her. Peeta accepted her invitation to sit and she nestled her head on his shoulder.

Delly told Peeta about her week; how tired she was from packing for her family's trip Europe, how she was going to miss him. He echoed her sentiment, tried his best to respond when it seemed appropriate. Delly was more observant than Peeta gave her credit for and she questioned his lack of attentiveness.

"You've been really distracted lately. What's up?" Delly placed her hand on top of his. Peeta's brain took note of the lack of electricity when she touched him.

"The first session went really well, but there's still a lot to get done. Overall, I'm happy with the results so far. We have a lot of really talented people, a lot of new faces, too."

"I'm glad. Any beautiful, up-and-coming actresses that I should be worried about stealing your heart?" she teased.

Peeta didn't want to lie to her. Instead he kissed her temple and smiled when she looked up at him. Delly seemed satisfied with his answer, or lack-there-of.

* * *

The next few weeks were the most stressful, exhilarating weeks of Katniss's life. She could finally experience what it was like to do something she loved and get paid for it. Katniss also enjoyed bonding with her new cast.

Though many people were skeptical about such an inexperienced actress being cast in such a large role, other theater veterans felt the need to take Katniss under their wing. She related most with two of her fellow cast-mates, Annie Cresta and Thom Robins, who were cast as Cosette and Marius.

The three of their characters were involved in somewhat of a love triangle in which Katniss's character, Eponine, emerges the loser; forced to deal with the pain of unrequited love. The two of them were also close to Katniss's age, although both had performed roles in other shows before and were more than willing to show her the ropes.

Of course there were times when Katniss nearly broke down in tears from the pressure. Seneca Crane had a clear vision and he wouldn't compromise, leaving Katniss at the receiving end of some of his relatively frequent outbursts.

Peeta was there to lift her spirits, however. She would look into his strikingly blue eyes whenever her confidence wavered, drawing from the belief he had in her talent and ability. After particularly grueling days, he would invite out her for a drink or for dinner; a welcomed distraction from the stress of rehearsal.

Soon they began confiding in each other. They talked about their families, their pasts. Their hopes and dreams.

She told him about her father: how his beautiful voice was what made her fall in love with music, how he taught her to play the piano, how when he died, their mother fell into such a deep depression that Katniss was forced to take care of herself and her sister, Prim.

She described the rural town she grew up in and how she loved the serenity of the woods that surrounded her house, but how she had to leave and go to the big city to go to school and provide for her family.

He spoke to her about his parents; his kind father and his strict, controlling mother. He even spoke to her about Delly, and Katniss tried to quell the irrational jealousy she felt whenever he mentioned her in conversation.

She cursed herself for the joy she felt after learning that Delly was currently in Europe; not scheduled to return back until opening night.

Katniss was happy that she had found a friend in Peeta Mellark.

Still, she couldn't shake the feeling deep in the pit of her stomach that wanted more.

* * *

A week after the workshops began, Delly left for Europe. Peeta was sad to see her leave, but wasn't surprised that he didn't find himself longing for her.

At first he attributed it to the fact that the separation was temporary; it was only for a couple of months, after all, and he could always fly out to visit her whenever he wanted.

But as the weeks went by, he found his time consumed by Katniss.

They spent their days inhabiting the same room during workshops. They talked for hours over dinner or drinks. When they weren't together, thoughts of her still occupied his mind.

Peeta assured himself that he was content; that a friendship with Katniss Everdeen was enough for him.

About three weeks into workshops, Peeta came home to find his mother waiting for him in his apartment. He could tell by the look on her face that he was in big trouble.

She skipped the pleasantries and went straight to the point. "When are you going to propose to Delly?"

"Its nice to see you too, mom," Peeta said, sarcastically.

Her voice was stern. "Answer the question."

Peeta sighed, "I don't have an answer for you, mother. We've only been dating for about six months now. I don't think I'm ready for that kind of commitment."

His mother was silent and Peeta thought she had dropped the subject. He was shocked stiff at her next question.

"Who is Katniss Everdeen?"

Peeta tried to avoid her gaze and thought hard before answering. "She's one of the featured actresses in Les Miserables. Why do you ask?"

Rather than explain, his mother simply threw a beige folder onto the coffee table and Peeta watched as glossy photographs scattered across the marble. He picked up a handful to examine them.

They were of him and Katniss: eating dinner, walking together, laughing. Peeta felt joy at seeing these captured moments; moments he had shared with Katniss. But he quickly reminded himself of his mother's presence in the room. "Where did you get these?" he inquired.

"Let's just say a very... resourceful individual approached us with these pictures, threatening to sell them to the gossip magazines. Luckily for us, we were able to come to a compromise."

Peeta was at a loss for words. Part of him was angry that somebody had taken these pictures and threatened to use them against him, against Katniss. At the same time, he didn't regret anything.

Finally, he spoke up. "We're just friends, mother. That's it."

"Is it true that she used to be a stripper?"

Peeta was quick to defend Katniss. "No!" He tried to find the words to explain. "It's true, she was a dancer. But it's not that simple!" Peeta watched as his mother's normally stoic demeanor snapped.

"Peeta Mellark, I will not have you ruining our family's reputation by associating yourself with this trash! Your father and I trusted you with this investment; we gave you the money when you needed it, ten times more than we had originally agreed upon! And now I can see that it was all so you could pursue some fling with this tramp? Did we not raise you better than this?!"

Peeta clenched his fists. "Don't. Call. Her. That."

His mother simply laughed. "Just friends! Hah! You are my son and I know you better than that! Now, unless you propose to Delly the instant she returns from Europe, your father and I will pull all of our investments from the musical. We will reveal this woman's past so she won't be able to find a decent job in this city."

Peeta tried to call his mother's bluff. "You wouldn't do that."

His mother refused to give in. "I care about this family and I will do whatever I need to do to protect it."

He watched her walk towards the front door, opening it to leave.

"I don't love Delly," Peeta finally confessed.

His mother didn't flinch.

"That is not my concern," she said as she shut the door behind her.

* * *

**A/N: **Thanks for reading :). Sorry if this chapter is short; like I mentioned last chapter, this chapter is serving more to move the story along. I promise next chapter will have more going on! Anyway, I'll be out-of-town this weekend so I don't know when I'll be able to update next, but to hold you over until then, I've also posted the first chapter to one of my other HG Everlark Modern Day AUs: Something Old, Something New! I hope you check it out! Please review; I love to hear what you guys have to say!


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7: Sun and Moon

Katniss had arrived home from another long day of rehearsal, thoroughly spent. Seneca had been on edge all day and took it out on the cast, and Katniss in particular.

What had made the day even harder was the fact that Peeta had failed to make an appearance. Katniss didn't want to admit that it affected her work, but the fact that she was main target of Seneca's wrath made it pretty clear.

Thankful that the cast had the next day off, Katniss grabbed a pint of ice cream out of the freezer and plopped herself in front of the television in a tank top and boy shorts.

Halfway through her pint of Rocky Road, Katniss was interrupted by a knock on the door. She looked at the clock and figured that Johanna must have forgotten her key in her rush to make it to work on time. Still holding her pint of ice cream, Katniss answered the door.

"I swear, if you forget your keys one more time..."

Instead of seeing an annoyed look on the face of her best friend and roommate, Katniss was caught face to face with Peeta Mellark. "Hi."

Katniss was suddenly made aware of her state of undress when she finally remembered to respond. "Hey... what are you doing here?" she said, swinging the door partly closed so she could hide behind it.

Peeta appeared flustered as he tried to explain. "I'm sorry, I found your apartment number on the directory downstairs. I was driving by your complex and wanted see if you would go and grab a drink with me."

Katniss was confused by his proposal at first, but reminded herself that she had gone out for drinks with Peeta almost a dozen times during these past few weeks of rehearsal. There was nothing to read into; they were just friends.

"Sure, let me go get changed. I'll be down in five minutes."

* * *

Peeta didn't realize where he was headed until he suddenly found himself sitting in his car in front of Katniss's apartment; the building where he dropped her off after almost every rehearsal. He had purposely avoided the theater today so that he didn't have to see her, still considering the legitimacy of his mother's threats.

But his subconscious wouldn't be scared so easily; he knew he had to see her. Katniss Everdeen was not a woman you could quit cold turkey.

When she opened the door in nothing but a tank top and underwear, he had almost passed out. The quick flash of her bare skin sent Peeta's mind back almost seven months to the night she strutted towards him in the fire-red outfit and high heels. He quickly pushed the image out of his mind and tried to compose himself.

As promised, Katniss joined him downstairs after five minutes and they drove to a bar that they had frequented during their last few weeks of friendship. They sat down in a booth and ordered drinks.

Both were silent as Peeta's mind raced, trying to come up with something, anything to say. The question escaped his lips before he could stop himself.

"How do you know if you're in love somebody?"

Katniss looked confused for a second, and then seemed to carefully consider the question. "I don't know. I've never been in love," she confessed.

Something in the air had shifted and they were both silent again. Peeta's nerves started to rise and in his anxiety he began speaking.

"My mother wants me marry Delly. She wants me to propose in three weeks, when Delly gets back from Europe. I don't know if I'm ready to commit to her like that. Delly's a sweet girl; she's down-to-earth and friendly and we understand each other well. But I don't know if that's enough. I wish I wanted to marry her; it would make everything so much simpler."

Peeta sighed and put his head in his hands. He was surprised when he heard Katniss start speaking.

"If I know anything about love, I know that it's anything but simple. Almost everyone I know wants to be in love, but I don't. I've only ever seen love be destructive. Love was what destroyed my mother after my father died. Cato told me he loved me and we both know how that turned out..." Her voice trailed off.

"Why did you stay with him, if you never loved him?"

Peeta regretted asking the question, but in that moment, his mouth was moving too fast for his brain.

Katniss didn't appear bothered by his curiosity. Instead she thought for a moment and answered. "Staying with Cato was about survival. I needed the money, the security. But as time went on, I realized that there was a big difference between surviving and living. I wanted to live, and that's part of what gave me the courage to leave him."

Peeta silently considered her words. As he pondered, he thought of one last question to ask her.

"Do you think your mother regretted falling in love with your father?"

Again, Katniss was silent for a few moments.

"I'm not sure. I can still remember the two of them; the looks that they gave each other, how comfortable they were together. Right after he died, I wished that they hadn't loved each other as much as they did, especially after seeing the way my mom reacted to it. I thought that maybe if had they loved each other less, my mother would have been able to move on and take care of us after he died. But then I remembered the way she would watch him when he sang; the joy and disbelief in her face that a man like my father was with her. I can remember feeling the same way when I was sitting next to my dad on the piano. The feel of the ivory keys underneath my fingers while we harmonized together. I think that's the closest I'll ever be to being in love." Katniss's hand went to the pendant on her necklace as she recalled the memory.

Peeta smiled as he watched her talk about her father; he could see the love and adoration she had for him. He wished that there was something he could do to help her hold on to that memory a little longer.

Suddenly, he remembered something. "Would you like to stop by my apartment on the way home?" he asked her. "I have something I want to show you."

* * *

Katniss trusted Peeta. She wouldn't have agreed to go if she didn't.

Yet, for some reason, her entire body was on edge as he drove her to his apartment. Despite how comfortable they felt talking to each other, Katniss couldn't deny that there was a strange spark that ignited every time they touched. Every nerve ending in her body would jolt with electricity whenever he brushed his hand against hers as they walked, or whenever her foot would accidentally kick his under the table.

Katniss trusted Peeta. She just didn't know if she could trust herself.

There was no use denying it anymore; Katniss was attracted to Peeta Mellark. After spending the past few weeks in his company, she had become an expert at stealthily admiring his charming smile, handsome features, broad shoulders, and tight butt.

At first, Katniss chastised herself for succumbing to such primal instincts. But as her mind was slowly populated by thoughts about Peeta, she found that she was becoming even more attracted to his kindhearted personality, thoughtfulness and charisma.

When they finally arrived at Peeta's apartment building, Katniss could not help but wonder how rich the Mellark family really was, considering the location and grandeur of Peeta's residence. When they finally stepped out of the elevator and through the front door, Katniss stood in awe at how large Peeta's penthouse apartment was; silently calculating how many of her own apartments she could fit into the space. Every furnishing screamed "expense" and Katniss couldn't help but feel slightly uncomfortable.

Peeta must have sensed this and clarified. "My mother's the one who decorated. It's not really my taste. I'd prefer it to be simpler but my mother is all about image. She'd always say 'You can't call yourself rich unless you look rich,'" he shrugged, "I can't complain about the view though."

Peeta started walking towards to floor-to-ceiling window that surrounded the apartment. He motioned for her to follow.

As Katniss approached the window, she was in awe. From up here, the city looked so inviting; the lights flickered from the streets and surrounding buildings like the stars she was so used to watching back home. It didn't look anything like the city that had threatened to swallow her whole over half a year earlier. "It's really beautiful," she gasped.

"It is," Peeta replied.

Katniss could feel his eyes on her, watching her reaction. She felt a flush of embarrassment when she realized how her mouth was open as she took in the view. Suddenly self-aware, she broke from the spell and turned towards him. "Is this what you wanted to show me?"

Peeta smiled a mischievous smile and shook his head. "No, I have something I think you will like even better."

He took her hand and guided her towards a closed door leading out of the living room. Katniss momentarily panicked, wondering where he could be taking her. She shook the worry from her head.

Peeta was a gentleman and he respected her, though she couldn't help but shake the small voice in her head that secretly hoped he was leading her into his bedroom. When the door opened revealing a large studio that housed a dazzling baby grand piano, she couldn't help but feel both amazed and disappointed.

Not waiting for permission, Katniss walked around the piano, her fingertips brushing against the polished wood frame. She ran her hands along the keys, the nostalgia hitting her in waves as she remembered the times she shared with her father.

Katniss expected to break down, overwhelmed by the memories, but instead she felt sincere gratitude that Peeta had brought her here and allowed her to re-live the happy moments of her childhood. "Do you play?" she inquired.

Peeta chuckled in response. "Not at all. I bought it when I first decided to invest in musical theater. I had no clue what I was doing, but I figured I would try my best to look the part."

Emboldened by the memories, she asked, "Do you mind if I-?"

Her question was cut short when Peeta interrupted, "Please. I would love to hear you play."

Katniss sat down, trying to think of a song.

She remembered one in particular that she used to sing with her father. It was a duet from the musical Miss Saigon between the two star-crossed lovers, Kim and Chris. Katniss smiled, sadly, knowing that she would have to sing both parts, now.

Placing her hands on the keyboard, the muscles in her fingers remembered the notes as she began to sing the melody.

_You are sunlight and I, moon  
Joined by the gods of fortune  
Midnight and high noon, sharing the sky  
We have been blessed you and I..._

* * *

Peeta was overwhelmed by everything that had happened so far that night. Here was Katniss in his apartment, singing for only him.

He recalled her expression when she took in the view from the window, and watched her reaction to seeing the piano; the elation that had enveloped her face and movements. Peeta knew that, if he could, he would devote his entire life to making Katniss happy and not consider it a wasted life.

_You are here like a mystery  
I'm from a world that's so different from all that you are  
How in the light of one night did we come... so far..._

He watched her fingers float along the keys, watched the emotion in her face as she closed her eyes and sang. She seemed so close, yet so far away from him. She was mere feet away but the look on her face told him that she was in her own universe. Peeta wished she could take him there with her.

Instead, he continued to listen, awe-struck by the woman in front of him.

_You are sunlight and I, moon  
Joined here  
Brightening the sky with the flame of love  
Made of sunlight, moonlight..._

Katniss finished, opened her eyes and looked up towards him. Her smile was radiant. "Thank you, Peeta."

Peeta knew that the polite thing to do would be to respond to her, to tell her that it was not a problem; that he was honored to have heard her play. But for the second time that evening, Peeta's body moved faster than his mind.

Instead, he leaned down, cupped her face in his hands, gazed into her eyes and pressed his lips to hers.

* * *

**A/N: **AHHHHH! Haha. Please don't hurt me for leaving it at a cliffhanger! Right now I'm working on Chapter 2 of Something Old, Something New, which I hope to get done by the middle of this week, but I'll try my best to get Chapter 8 out by the weekend. Sorry for the short-ish chapter; I spent the day at the State Fair yesterday eating deliciously sinful things like Fried Samoas and Fried Grilled Cheese and Fried S'mores. They fry everything these days. I can't possibly recommend trying them, as a health professional, but what's wrong with a little indulging once in a while? Anyway, thanks for reading! Please review =).


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 8: Meet in the Sky

Katniss' ability to think rationally fled her body the second Peeta Mellark kissed her.

In that moment, she could only feel. Feel how soft his lips were and how gently he held her face in his hands. Feel as her mouth slightly opened in response as he tilted his head to deepen the kiss.

As suddenly as it had begun, the kiss abruptly ended as Peeta pulled away from her. His palms were still on her cheeks as he gazed into her eyes, trying to read her expression.

And now that she could no longer feel, Katniss discovered that she could only want.

Peeta must have sensed her shock as Katniss caught his blue eyes briefly flash with worry. She watched as he let go of her face, his expression apologetic.

As he straightened up, Katniss saw his mouth poise to mutter a flustered apology. Before he could even start, Katniss planted her lips firmly back onto his, hoping that her actions proved to him that he had nothing to be sorry for.

She wanted this, wanted him.

It was Peeta's turn to be shocked as Katniss hungrily claimed his lips, stood up from the piano bench and pressed her body flush against him. She placed her palms against his chest and he quickly reciprocated by resting his hands on her hips. The kiss became more passionate and frantic as they both released the tension their bodies had accumulated in their past few weeks together. His tongue tentatively pressed against her lips and she willingly allowed him entry.

Katniss brought her hands up and linked them behind his neck, trying to draw him closer. Peeta responded by trailing his hand up her back and burying it in her hair.

After what seemed like an eternity, they pulled away from each other, panting heavily.

The desire that Katniss had hoped to quell by exploring Peeta's lips had only grown exponentially. Guessing that Peeta would be too much of a gentleman to push her any farther, Katniss slid her hands from his neck to clasp the top button of his dress shirt. As she moved down his chest, undoing the buttons one by one, she fought the urge to glance up and gauge his reaction.

Katniss watched the exaggerated rise and fall of his chest as she undid the last button and ran her palms up his abdomen, admiring his broad and muscular torso. As she brought her gaze upward, Katniss was afraid that she would find a look of uncertainty on Peeta's face.

Instead she found her own desire mirrored in his blue eyes before he again ravished her mouth. She ran her hands up his chest and pushed the unbuttoned shirt off of his shoulders and down his arms. His hand grazed down her back and cupped her bottom. Katniss responded by throwing her arms around his shoulders and lifting herself to wrap her legs around his waist.

Peeta took her cue and carried her through his apartment toward the bedroom, their lips only separating when Katniss lifted her shirt over her head and tossed it aside. Peeta took advantage of her newly exposed skin, kissing his way down her neck and collarbone. Once they reached the bedroom, Peeta laid her down on the massive king bed and hovered over her, still showering her neck and chest with open-mouthed kisses.

Katniss propped herself on her elbows and reached for his belt, her desire bordering on impatience. While she fumbled with his buckle, Peeta planted more kisses on the side of her neck as he reached behind her back to unclasp her bra.

Before she could unbutton his slacks, Peeta pushed her back on the bed, sliding the straps down her arms and removing her bra. Katniss heard his breath catch as he lustfully surveyed her topless form, first with his eyes, then his hands, then his mouth. Katniss arched her back and moaned as he hungrily sucked and licked her nipples, his hands caressing the parts of her chest where his mouth couldn't be. His hands trailed down her abdomen and onto her hips, where he stuck his thumbs into the waistband of her jeans.

Peeta's hands remained there as he kissed his way back up her neck and again found her lips. He withdrew his mouth from hers and gazed into her eyes, silently asking for her permission.

"Please...," was all Katniss could muster, but Peeta seemed convinced as he moved his hands forward and undid the front of her jeans. Again, he hitched his fingers into her waistband and began to pull her pants and panties down while Katniss lifted her bottom off the bed to expedite the process.

As confident as Katniss had felt since Peeta had kissed her, a wave of self-consciousness suddenly crashed over her at the realization that she was now completely exposed to his gaze.

A rich, attractive guy like Peeta must have slept with actresses or models; there was no way Katniss could ever live up to that. She shut her thighs and bent her knees, trying her best to subtly hide her most intimate parts. But when she finally regained the courage to look up at him, there was not an ounce of judgment on Peeta's face.

Only complete and total admiration.

Katniss felt another surge of confidence as she again sat up to undo his slacks. This time, Peeta didn't stop her. She took off his pants, eagerly wanting to reveal more of him. Any doubts or insecurities she had about his desire for her were extinguished when she saw how his hardness strained against his boxer briefs.

He wanted her just as badly as she wanted him.

Katniss propped herself up on her knees and kissed his mouth while she slowly tugged his boxers down, feeling the way the elastic in the waistband snapped softly as his erection sprang out. She felt him groan against her lips and his arms wrap around her as he guided her onto her back once more.

Peeta brought his attention back to her neck and her chest, nipping and biting and licking while his fingers traced lightly up her knee towards the inside of her thigh, her body shuddering when he reached the wetness that echoed her growing hunger. Her eyes shut reflexively as he slipped a finger inside of her, his thumb grazing the sensitive bundle of nerves nestled above her opening.

Katniss bucked against his hand, the slow pumping and caress of his fingers both too much and not enough. She snapped her eyes back open and found his blue eyes watching her intently. She tried her best to convey with her gaze and expression and moans that she was growing impatient, that she needed more from him than just his fingers.

Peeta seemed to get the message as he turned away and started to reach for the drawer of his bedside table. Katniss grabbed his forearm and he turned to look at her again. "I-" she stuttered. "I'm on the pill."

She turned her head, looking away and slightly embarrassed by the need to address the basic, yet still important, reality of the act they were about to engage in.

Peeta wasn't phased, the corners of his mouth upturned into a teasing smirk. He climbed over her, resting his weight on his arms, as she wrapped her legs around his torso, the heels of her feet gently caressing his back as she arched her hips towards him. She couldn't wait another second.

Peeta entered slowly, a low groan escaping his lips as he disappeared inside of her. Katniss gasped at the fullness – both emotional and physical. Their pace was slow at first, quiet whispers of encouragement escaping her lips as he thrust in and out of her. As the pleasure washed over her, she began to moan and gasp

His pace quickened the more she let her voice out. It appeared that her singing voice wasn't the only sound Katniss produced that Peeta Mellark appreciated.

Peeta grabbed her ankles and rested them on his shoulders, allowing himself to go deeper as he gasped her name. The new angle hit in just the right spot and she wouldn't have been able to control her voice if she tried.

She chanted his name, her hands gripping the sheets. Her body shuddered as she approached her peak, barreling over the edge and screaming his name as she spasmed and clenched. That seemed to trigger Peeta's own climax as he followed close behind, his rhythm suddenly stuttering as he groaned with his own release.

Peeta collapsed on top of her, still careful to avoid crushing her writhing, panting form. He, too, was struggling to catch his breath as he laid his forehead on the pillow behind her head. She kissed his cheeks, his neck, his collarbone, until he rolled off of her and onto the plush mattress.

"Wow," was the most Peeta could say as he pulled her into strong arms.

Katniss smiled and closed her eyes, feeling more physically and emotionally fulfilled than she had ever been in her entire life.

* * *

Peeta woke the next morning feeling the happiest he had ever felt. At first, he thought his night with Katniss had been a dream; it wouldn't have been the first time his carnal desires for her manifested themselves in that way. But as he straddled the line between being asleep and awake, the memories of his night with Katniss flooded his brain. The sound of her voice as she sang at the piano, the feel of her lips, her naked body pressed against his, the way she screamed his name as she came undone underneath him.

Peeta's eyes shot open and he was suddenly wide-awake, his mind finally registering the fact that it was real, all real. Katniss was in his bed, her backside flush against his front while his arm was hooked protectively around her waist. Her dark hair was spread above her head on the pillow, her neck exposed.

She still appeared to be asleep, her breathing quiet and even, but Peeta couldn't help but press his lips tenderly against the back of her neck. The soft moan that his kiss elicited only fueled his already burning desire. He felt her stretch her muscles as she shifted to face him. He was relieved to see her smile softly, knowing that she hadn't regretted what had transpired between them.

And as guilty as he should have felt, Peeta could only feel absolute adoration for the woman currently wrapped in his embrace. It bordered on child-like giddiness and he couldn't help but compare. "This is better than waking up to a roomful of presents on Christmas morning."

Katniss smiled at his comparison. "A whole room full of presents? Mr. Mellark, I believe that you forget that not everybody in this room grew up as rich and spoiled as you. I bet Santa always brought you everything you wanted."

"Very true," Peeta kissed her forehead. "But even if I combined every Christmas morning I have ever experienced, this still beats it."

"You are the corniest person I have ever met," Katniss sighed, as she rolled her eyes. Peeta responded by planting kisses all over her face until she started to laugh.

Soon the kisses transitioned from playful to passionate but their imminent morning romp was interrupted by the sound of Peeta's ringtone.

Peeta groaned and shot an evil look at his phone. As much as he wanted to ignore it, he had somewhere important to be. "I have to go," he lamented. "But I shouldn't be gone for more than a couple of hours. Will you stay here and wait for me?"

Katniss answered by pushing Peeta on his back, straddling his hips and kissing him full on the mouth. "Don't take too long," she purred.

* * *

Katniss laughed as she watched Peeta throw on his clothes and bolt out the door. She couldn't help but think that whatever he was going out to do wouldn't take the two hours he had estimated; her teasing that morning had made sure of that.

Katniss allowed herself a few minutes to lie in bed and process what had happened the night before. Never in her life had she been so bold... or turned on. She wracked her brain to try and figure out what made being with Peeta so different.

She came up with a number of reasons: he was attractive, skilled, and anatomically gifted. As much as she hated to do so, she couldn't help but compare her night with Peeta to the time she spent with Cato. Both men were aggressive in their own ways. Where Cato had been selfish and rough, Peeta was passionate yet considerate.

Katniss continued to brainstorm what qualities set Peeta apart when she realized that the difference lied more in how she felt about herself than how she felt about Peeta.

Katniss trusted Peeta and felt completely comfortable around him. With Cato, she was worried about pleasing him, worried about living up to his expectations. But with Peeta, she knew she could let go. He would never judge her or compare her to anyone else. She remembered the way he looked at her at the banquet and every moment afterwards. While Cato had made her feel small and insignificant, Peeta made her feel beautiful and important.

As much as she wanted to stay in bed, Katniss knew that she should at least pick up the mess of clothes currently littering the carpet, maybe make some breakfast for when Peeta returned.

She sat up in bed and scanned the bedroom floor, noting the clothing strewn about. She threw on her bra and panties, quickly remembering that her shirt had been disposed of somewhere during the trip between the studio and the bedroom. She finally found it by the doorframe between the living room and the piano studio, and saw that Peeta's dress shirt was still lying on the floor by the piano bench.

Katniss grabbed her top and walked in to pick up Peeta's, catching a whiff of his cologne as she bent down to grab his shirt off the floor. Instead of putting on her own shirt, she threw on his, buttoning all but the top two buttons.

Katniss was content being enveloped in his scent.

She made her way through the gigantic apartment to the kitchen, where she tried her best to find ingredients for breakfast. As she scoured the walk-in pantry, she heard the front door open.

Katniss excitedly ran toward the entrance, ready to jump Peeta as he entered the door. "A couple hours my ass!" she yelled as she ran. "I knew you couldn't wait that long to-"

Katniss stopped in her tracks when she realized that it wasn't Peeta, but an older, blond woman who seemed less than ecstatic by her presence. Katniss tried to explain "Oh my - I'm sorry! I thought you were -… I'm just -"

"A friend of Peeta's?" the woman interrupted.

"Yes," was all Katniss could say, suddenly aware of what she was, _and wasn't_, wearing.

"I can assume by your... enthusiastic greeting that my son is not home at the moment?"

Katniss didn't know if she could be any more mortified. "No, ma'am. He... went out."

"Did he tell you where he was going?" she asked, her eyebrows raised. Katniss shook her head no. "He's at an appointment, shopping for an engagement ring for his soon-to-be fiancé, Delia Cartwright."

Katniss visibly winced at the name. Delly. How could she have forgotten? Despite the amazing night and morning she and Peeta had spent together, Katniss couldn't help but feel guilty about sleeping with an unavailable man. Even if she knew that Peeta was having doubts about his feelings for Delly.

"Peeta and his father are alike in a lot of ways," Mrs. Mellark continued. "They have the same eyes, same build. They're both kind, impressionable men. Before Peeta's father and I got engaged, he also did his fair share of...dumpster diving." She practically spit the words. "But he came to his senses. What, exactly, are your intentions with my son?"

Katniss was too embarrassed, angry and ashamed to think. "I don't know..." she replied weakly.

"I see. Well if you care at all about Peeta, I hope you realize why whatever-it-is-you-two-are will not work out. Peeta deserves better and you will only bring him down. Delly is from a powerful family; they can give him great opportunities and help him realize his potential. What can you give him?"

Katniss was silent. If she spoke, the tears that were building on the rims of her eyes would spill over and she wouldn't give this woman the satisfaction.

"That's what I thought. Did you know that you are the reason our family is investing ten times more money into this show than we had originally planned? Peeta seemed desperate to get you a spot and was willing to gamble our money to make sure of it. Now, I think I can understand why…"

The words stung. Katniss had worked so hard to land that role and to hear that Peeta had intervened using his family's money made her wonder if she really deserved it. Now, after everything that had happened the night before, it seemed, from the outside anyway, that Katniss had slept her way to a spot on Broadway after all.

"A girl like you could live a hundred lifetimes and never deserve my son. Do him, and yourself, a favor and end this now, before it gets any more complicated."

With that, Mrs. Mellark walked out the door, leaving Katniss frozen in her spot. After a few minutes, the feeling of a single tear rolling down her cheek snapped her back to reality. She raced back to the bedroom, tossing Peeta's shirt off along the way, threw her clothes on as quickly as she could, and ran out the door.

* * *

**A/N: **Bout damn time these two got freaky, amirite? Anyway, things never come easy for these two, do they? Sigh. And as much as I seem to write cheating into my works, I promise I am in no way pro-cheating! It just makes fiction so deliciously complicated that I can't resist =/. Also, this was my first attempt at writing anything lemon-y; I hope I did the scene justice!

Thank you for reading, and for all the follows, favorites and reviews! A very, very special thank you to katnissinme for her amazing job in beta-ing this chapter! You should definitely go and check out her work, and consider her for a beta should you ever need one!

Please review and let me know what you think!


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter 9: Keep a Straight Face

Peeta was on his way to buy an engagement ring. His mother had set up the appointment after she confronted him about Katniss and tried to threaten him into proposing to Delly. It was at a high-end jewelry shop called District One that had a waiting list for private consultations that stretched months into the future.

Of course, they made arrangements for Mrs. Mellark with only a day's notice.

As Peeta approached the shop, a head of copper colored hair caught his attention. "Hey Peeta! Feels nice to be the one on time, for once."

"Hey, Finn. Thanks for coming." Peeta had invited his friend to help him shop; Finnick had enough experiences with girls to know what to look for in an engagement ring. Even Finnick's one-night-stands had often divulged their "dream ring" to him, probably hoping to receive one from him some time in the future. None had been quite so lucky.

He and Finnick were escorted inside and given the opportunity to browse the display cases that lined the room. A skinny blonde introduced herself as Madge and offered to help them with anything they needed.

As friendly and professional as Madge appeared, she seemed slightly cautious around him, whether it was due to his celebrity status, his handsome friend, or perhaps it was a hint of nerves that surrounded a potentially huge sale. He figured that she worked on commission and she followed the two of them like a shadow.

Peeta walked around the room, waiting for something to catch his attention. He thought about _her_, about what kind of ring suit her best. What kind of ring she would be happy with. Finally, one caught his eye.

It was simple. The center stone was no more than 1.5 carats and had a line of small diamonds that wrapped around the band. He smiled as he thought if it on her left ring finger. "What do you think?" Peeta asked his friend.

"Too plain. I know that Delly's not exactly the high-maintenance type but I think she expects more than that. Bigger stone. More accents. More expensive. Not to mention the fact that your mother probably wants you to get something that will be talked about and envied for months and years to come."

Peeta smiled and turned to Madge. "This one. I'll take this one."

Finnick looked irritated. "What the hell, man? If you weren't going to listen to a word I had to say, why did you invite me?" Peeta elbowed his friend roughly in the abdomen.

Madge grinned, unfazed by their playful banter. "Great! I'll go set up the paperwork. What's the ring size?"

The question had caught Peeta off guard. He thought hard, trying to remember how her hands felt in his, how he had subtly glanced at her ring finger before he left her that morning.

He unconsciously looked down at Madge's fingers. They looked similar to her size.

"What's your ring size?" he blurted out.

Peeta caught the slight pink color that coated Madge's cheeks. "Why Mr. Mellark, I only just met you," she joked. "But for your reference, I wear a size 5. It's a little smaller than the average. If you're unsure, we can always get it resized later. We offer resizing services free of charge."

"Alright," he confirmed. "Size 5 it is."

Delly nodded and left them so she could organize the paperwork. When Peeta finally got the courage to look up at Finnick, he was met with an expression of confusion mixed with anger.

"First you ignore my advice. Then you pick a size that I'm positive will be way too small for Delly's finger. The girl's beautiful and delicate-looking but I swear she has man hands. No offense," Finnick explained. He furrowed his brow and looked suspiciously at Peeta. "There's something you're not telling me."

Peeta carefully scanned the room, making sure that all the employees were out of hearing range. "It's not for Delly," he admitted.

Finnick appeared genuinely confused. "Peet. What the hell are you talking about?"

"The engagement ring. It's not for Delly. It's for...somebody else."

"Well then, who the fuck is it for?" Finnick said, a little too loudly.

"Shhhhhh!" Peeta implored his friend to stop drawing attention. "It's complicated. But, I can't marry Delly. Not anymore. I'll explain more after we leave."

After the two men had left the shop, Peeta glanced at his watch. He had only been gone for about an hour. He could spare a couple of minutes to explain the situation to his best friend.

"It's Katniss." Peeta finally admitted to Finnick. "I'm in love with her."

"You barely know her!" Finnick exclaimed. "You've interacted with her for what? A few weeks?"

"I know that. I know it sounds crazy. But these few weeks that I've spent with her have been the most amazing weeks of my life. I spent months with Delly and I wasn't sure how I felt. But it feels so right with Katniss. I'm not going to propose to her right away. She doesn't seem like the commitment-type at the moment. I just figured that I wouldn't let the appointment go to waste. Maybe, one day, she'll change her mind. This way, I'll be ready."

Finnick appeared to try and process the situation, unable to understand the feelings that Peeta had just admitted. Finally his face softened. "Peet, you're my best friend. I'll support you in whatever you decide, even if I think you're being a complete and utter lunatic."

Peeta grinned and slapped his friend on the back. "Thanks. Now if you don't mind, I've got a beautiful, naked woman waiting for me in bed." He laughed as the realization crept onto Finnick's face.

Peeta couldn't get back fast enough. It took all of his energy to stop himself from running home, ripping his clothes off along the way. When he finally entered the apartment he ran straight to the bedroom, only to find an empty, unmade bed.

He scanned the floor of the bedroom and saw that her clothes were missing.

He called her name as he walked through the apartment, searching it room by room. After spending a few minutes in denial, he finally let it sink in.

Katniss was gone.

* * *

Katniss was slamming the front door to her apartment before she could even register her feet moving. She remembered standing frozen in place after Peeta's mother had belittled her. Her fight or flight response had kicked in and overwhelmingly chose flight.

She pulled her phone from her pocket, looked at the time and figured that Peeta would be returning home soon to find her missing. Anticipating a flood of calls or texts from him, she turned her phone to silent and threw it on the couch.

Katniss made her way to her bedroom, crawling under the covers and hugging her knees. She finally let herself process the events of the past 24 hours. She had a lot to consider.

There was the extraordinary night she had spent with Peeta; how safe, beautiful and clever he made her feel.

There was also the fact that Peeta may have bought her spot in the musical. She was angry, no doubt, that there was even the possibility that she had unfairly gotten the role. Katniss knew in her heart that Peeta must have had the best intentions should his mother's claims be true, but now there was the added pressure of living up to his expectations, of owing him a debt.

Then, there was the very real Delly Cartwright. Katniss couldn't help but feel guilty that she had to be caught up in whatever-it-is that had happened between her and Peeta. Sure, Katniss knew that Peeta was unsure of his feelings toward Delly. But Peeta never had a bad thing to say about her. Delly understood Peeta and was a part of his world. Katniss was a stranger, an intruder to the glamorous life that Delly and Peeta had grown up in.

Finally, there was everything that Peeta's mother had said to her that morning; how she could never be the woman that Peeta deserved. This idea was what troubled Katniss the most, because the more she thought about it, the more she believed it.

As the thoughts swirled around her head, she slowly came to a painful conclusion.

Peeta would be better off without her. Letting him go would be her way of repaying him.

Katniss allowed the idea to simmer and sink in, and when she finally heard the sound of Peeta pounding on her front door, she curled into a tighter ball and cried into her comforter.

The next few weeks would be torture.

* * *

Peeta felt a flood of emotions at the realization that Katniss had left his apartment without so much as a note. He was angry, confused, devastated. He tried calling and texting, but every attempt to contact her went unanswered. Even when he showed up at her door and knocked and begged for a borderline-inappropriate amount of time, she refused to answer. It was only when her neighbors peeked their heads out at the commotion that he gave up and went home.

Peeta wracked his brain, painfully reliving every detail of that night and morning, trying to figure out what had made Katniss flee his apartment without so much as a goodbye. He knew that she couldn't avoid him forever; their mutual involvement in Les Misérables would see to that.

He cycled through his emotions that night, preparing himself to confront her after the next day's rehearsal.

* * *

Katniss was both grateful and disappointed that Peeta wasn't at rehearsal the next morning. She was distracted enough and Seneca made her pay for it. The nagging feeling that she was only there because of Peeta's investment stayed with her throughout the rehearsal and adversely affected her performance. Yet even though she was the object of most of Seneca's frustration that day, he never once made her feel like she didn't belong.

Thinking that maybe she had successfully avoided seeing Peeta for at least another day, Katniss walked out of the theater only to be stopped in her tracks at the sound of her name.

"Katniss."

The pain in Peeta's voice was evident, but Katniss forced herself to turn around and face him. She was afraid to look him in the eyes, knowing that her face would give her away and that his blue eyes might dissuade her from what she knew she had to do.

"Can we go somewhere to talk? Please…" He sounded so hurt and Katniss could only nod her approval, knowing that their talk would only serve to hurt Peeta more.

The two of them settled into a booth at a nearby, deserted café, not speaking a word to each other the entire walk over. Katniss still couldn't bring herself to look at him directly.

Talking more to her coffee cup than to Peeta, Katniss finally broke the silence. "What did you want to talk about?" She tried her best to sound emotionless.

Katniss heard Peeta sigh exasperatedly. He roughly put down his own coffee cup and ran his fingers through his hair. "Please, Katniss. Don't act like you don't know why we're sitting here right now. We spend an unforgettable night together, I ask you to stay in the morning, and I come back to find you gone? What did I do?"

Katniss felt her chest tighten at the sadness and confusion in his voice. Here he was, blaming himself again. "Nothing," she responded. "You didn't do anything wrong."

"Then why are you avoiding me, Katniss? Please, tell me."

Katniss brought her gaze upward, looking through him more than at him, her eyebrows furrowed. "Is it true that you paid for my spot in Les Mis?"

"Who told you that?" Peeta shouted defensively.

"It doesn't matter," she replied. "Is it true?"

Peeta brought his eyes downward, ashamed. "It's true that I tried to. But Seneca had planned on casting you regardless. He just took advantage of the situation. I'm sorry, Katniss. It was stupid of me, but I just really wanted you to get that role. You deserved it."

She felt a lump appear in her throat, upset that there was even the slim chance that she had landed the role based on something other than her own talent. "I don't need your charity, Peeta," Katniss answered, coldly.

"It's not like that, Katniss. Hearing you sing, it's what made me fall in l—" Peeta cut himself short. Katniss felt every muscle in her body tense. "It made me want to get to know you, and like the idiot I am, I tried to use my influence to get you on the show. To have an excuse to spend more time with you. But, please, believe me. You were cast in the musical because of your amazing talent and not because of me."

Katniss wanted to believe him. She trusted him enough not to lie to her, and the fact that he admitted it in the first place made her want to believe him more. But, it didn't matter. Katniss was there on a mission in which she saw only one possible outcome.

"Is that why you left?" Peeta asked.

Katniss shook her head. If that was the only reason she gave him for leaving that morning, he would continue to hope, to believe that he could somehow fix their situation.

"Then, why?" Peeta's voice was filled with anguish.

She swallowed hard, hoping the pain she felt wouldn't seep into the words she knew she had to say. Peeta wouldn't give up on her unless she hurt him; it was a necessary evil in order to convince him to let her go.

"It was a mistake. I realized it after you left. You have a girlfriend, Peeta. Not to mention the fact that this is all extremely unprofessional. I think we should just move on. Go back to a strictly professional relationship. Besides, I can't give you what you want."

Peeta seemed taken aback by her words. "You're who I want to be with, Katniss. Not Delly. I feel guilty, too, about what happened, but I don't regret it. Not for a second. The moment that Delly comes back, I'm going to tell her that I can't be with her. Do you really expect me to be able to just forget about what happened between us? To go back to the way things were? Because I can't do that, Katniss."

Her heart leapt at his words. All she wanted to do in that moment was reach across the table, take his face in her hands and kiss him with everything she had. But Mrs. Mellark's words swirled mercilessly through her head.

_You will only bring him down. _

_What can you give him?_

_…never deserve my son._

Instead of responding, Katniss stayed silent, and it seemed to unnerve Peeta even more.

"What happened between us was amazing, mind-blowing, eye-opening! Please, tell me it meant _something_ to you!"

His voice was frantic and Katniss tried her best to swallow her feelings and remain calm. She finally gathered the courage to look him straight in the eye, knowing that she had to extinguish any doubts in his mind. "I'm sorry if you misinterpreted things. I hope we can be civil about this and not let it affect the show."

Katniss could sense something snap in Peeta's normally calm demeanor. His expression was one of surprise and confusion; as if Katniss had just physically slapped him across the face. Rather than speak another word, he got up from the table, threw down his share of the tab and walked out of the café, leaving her alone in the booth.

Her first reaction was to smile. Professor Abernathy would have been proud of her acting performance, she thought. But the tears quickly welled up in her eyes and flowed freely down her cheeks, splashing into her coffee mug.

She knew that she had just given the most convincing performance of her entire life.

She would have been impressed with herself if she hadn't felt so broken.

* * *

**A/N: **Sorry to end it on such a sad note, but I promise that there's a light at the end of the tunnel for these two! Thanks for reading!

As always, thank you to **katnissinme** for her awesome beta work!

I've also set up a tumblr (same user name as here). It will mostly be for story updates/story progress and an outlet for any of you to ask questions if you feel so inclined. I'm not familiar with tumblr at all, so forgive me while I work out the kinks.

Thanks for all of the follows and favorites! And to all of you who take the time out to review: My love for you flows like white liquor through the veins of Haymitch Abernathy. ;)


	10. Chapter 10

Chapter 10: Content with Loneliness

Peeta arrived at his apartment after his meeting with Katniss, his fists still clenched so tightly that the nails dug into his palms. He refused to believe what she had said to him, but the look on her face made it harder and harder for him to think it was a lie.

The confusion and hurt that had consumed him since her departure the morning before were instantly replaced by anger. He paced the apartment, the memories of their night together continuing to haunt him.

Peeta finally made his way into his studio, glaring at the piano that had been the catalyst for this whole mess. On the bench was a small velvet box, holding the ring he had bought the day before. He must have placed it there as he searched the apartment for Katniss the previous morning.

Angrily, Peeta picked the box up off of the bench and stomped toward the kitchen. He stopped in front of the garbage can, pressed the foot pedal and watched the lid rise. He raised his own arm, ready to slam the box into the trash, hoping that his feelings for Katniss would follow the ring when he threw it into the garbage.

He brought his arm higher, clenched the box tighter, but couldn't bring himself to complete the task. Instead, he sighed in frustration and made his way into his bedroom, tossing the box into the drawer of his bedside table.

* * *

The next three weeks were torture, both emotionally and physically for Katniss. At every rehearsal, she spent so much energy trying to act normal in front of the cast and crew that it was slowly but surely adversely affecting her actual performance. She came home to the apartment each evening and went straight to bed, often forgetting to eat or even change her clothes.

Despite never explicitly revealing her complicated and short-lived relationship with Peeta to her two best friends, they knew Katniss well enough to suspect the source of her moping, though they weren't privy to the details or the specifics of it. After a week, her roommates were sufficiently worried that they felt the need to intervene.

Madge and Johanna entered her room, concern etched in the lines of their faces. At first, they were both quiet, as if unsure how to approach the subject.

Katniss lay in bed catatonic, failing to acknowledge the intrusion by her two best friends. Johanna, being her tough-love self, yanked the covers off of her. "Enough with the self-loathing. What's got you in such a rut?"

Katniss continued to stare blankly into space.

"You've been moping around the house all week," Johanna observed. "Why aren't you out 'grabbing bites' to eat with Peet—"

The look Katniss shot Johanna stopped her midsentence. Katniss did not want to talk or think about anything concerning _him. _She wanted to forget, and talking about it seemed counterintuitive to that goal.

Johanna looked over at Madge, her eyebrows raised. Neither of them was sure how to proceed, even now that they had elicited some kind of response from Katniss.

Madge sat down next to her on the bed and again broke the silence.

"You know, Peeta Mellark came into District One last week and bought a beautiful diamond ring."

A lump formed in Katniss' throat at the confirmation of Peeta's whereabouts when he left her that morning. She could also sense the burning stare that Johanna had directed at Madge.

"It actually might be quite a scandal," Madge continued, unfazed by Johanna's piercing gaze. "Because it seemed like he wasn't buying the ring for Delia Cartwright."

Katniss felt angry that Madge had even brought it up. "What Peeta Mellark does and does not buy is not my concern," she snapped rudely, hoping that her sour attitude would convince Madge to keep her mouth shut.

Ignoring Katniss' comment entirely, Madge pressed on. "Well, first of all, the ring was surprisingly simple. It was beautiful, no doubt, but definitely not what an extravagant Cartwright would be happy with in a diamond ring. No, it seemed like he was buying it for somebody with much more… subtle tastes. His good-looking friend even pointed it out, but Peeta ignored him. It struck me as kind of odd," Madge reasoned.

"Then there's the ring size," Madge continued. "It's actually well known within the gossip magazines that the delicate Miss Delia Cartwright has, and I quote, 'truck-a-saurus hands.' As many genetic lotteries as that girl has won, dainty hands is definitely not one of them."

Katniss groaned and threw her comforter back over her head. She was sick of hearing Madge talk about Delly and Peeta and engagement rings.

"Let me see your hand for a second."

Before Katniss could stop her, Madge grabbed her left hand and examined her ring finger. Katniss quickly snapped her hand back, hiding it under the covers. Madge seemed pleased, though.

"That's what I thought," she chuckled smugly as she stood up from the bed and walked out of the room. Johanna lingered behind a little longer, not speaking, but letting Katniss know in her own Johanna-way that she cared without needing to use words.

As much as she wanted to ignore Madge's observations, she could sense what her friend was implying. That the ring Peeta bought was meant for her. She silently considered the legitimacy of Madge's claims. She didn't think that Madge would make something like that up, but Madge was known for exaggerating facts and drawing her own wild conclusions.

Besides, Katniss was in no condition to think about things like marriage. Hell, she wasn't even able to think about love. And regardless of who the ring was for, she had slammed the door on any romantic relationship with Peeta during their confrontation at the coffee shop.

That was the way it had to be, she knew.

The opening night of the show was fast approaching, and her anxiety rose unabated now that her relationship with Peeta was no more. Peeta still stopped by the theater every few days to keep up with the progress of the show. Katniss knew he was not the kind of man to turn his back on his investments over some girl. It took everything she had to put on a brave face in front of him. She couldn't help but notice, however, that whenever it was her turn to sing Peeta would leave the theater, making a phone call or leaving early for the day.

She tried to not let it bother her; after all, this was what she wanted. Peeta needed to let her go. But, the strain began to find its way into Katniss' performance, and the ever-observant Seneca Crane made it clear that he was not pleased.

The day before opening night, he approached her with an ultimatum.

"Everdeen, I know this is your first time at this, but you haven't been yourself lately. I know that there is a certain level of nerves associated with your first show, but I can't risk the success of this entire production on your cold feet. If I do not see improvement by final rehearsal tomorrow, your understudy _will_ be taking your place opening night."

The words rang in her head while she lay in bed that night, trying to get a good night's sleep before the big day. The anxiety just continued to rise as her body refused to relax; she knew sleep would not come to her that night, the way things were.

She needed to go somewhere to rid herself of her growing restlessness. She quickly dressed and flew out the door, heading in the direction of the theater.

* * *

Peeta had given up on trying to sleep. He had spent the past two hours tossing and turning in his sheets, mind racing.

There were a million things for him to think about.

First was the opening night the next day. The musical was his first real project, his first true responsibility within the family business, and he was not surprised by his level of anxiety over whether or not it, and by extension, he, would succeed.

Then there was Delly. She would be returning the next day, and he still hadn't figured out what he was going to do about their relationship. She was kind and understanding, and Peeta considered her to be a friend. And he knew what his mother expected from him. But he also knew he couldn't marry her; not after everything that had happened during the weeks she had been away.

He felt guilty for being dishonest with her; Delly deserved better than to have a man whose thoughts were constantly occupied by another woman. He also knew that his relationship with Delly would never compare to the short yet exhilarating time he had spent with Katniss.

Katniss. His thoughts always found their way back to her. Peeta knew he had to let her go, and he tried to remember the pain and anger he felt when she had so coldly rejected him weeks earlier. But inevitably, his mind would wander to their happier moments.

That first meal they shared, when she suddenly held his hand, and how they laughed until they cried. Her dazzling smile after she sang at his piano. The sound of his name escaping her lips as they made love.

He thought about what the next day would mean for her. Despite the way she had hurt him, he still wanted her to succeed. She was amazingly talented and he knew that her role in the show would provide her with so many more opportunities to show off and develop that talent.

Peeta knew that his mind would not allow him a minute of sleep, now that he had invited Katniss into his thoughts. He turned the bedside lamp on, opening the drawer of his end table to look for some sleeping pills. As he fumbled through the contents of the drawer looking for the plastic bottle, he froze as his hand caught a small velvet box.

Not even sleeping pills would have helped him find sleep after that discovery.

Peeta got out of bed and walked out of the living room to admire the view. He was still holding the box, eventually opening it to admire the ring inside. The ring he had hoped to give to Katniss one day.

Though she had only been here briefly, memories of her haunted his apartment like a ghost. He pictured her standing by the window, taking in the beautiful view. He imagined her fingers on the keys of the piano in his studio. There were mornings he would wake up and remember how it felt to see her sleeping next to him in his bed.

He needed to get out, needed to escape the thoughts of her. He walked back to his bedroom, placed the velvet box back on the bedside table, quickly dressed and walked out of his apartment.

* * *

Katniss arrived at the theater, making her way to the stage doors when she spotted the doorman leaving the building and pulling out his keys. She yelled to get his attention and ran towards him.

"Hey, Darius! Are you locking up?"

He looked up and smirked. "Crew just got done with some last minute prep for tomorrow. They just left and I was headed home."

"Do you think I could go in for a bit? I'm really anxious about tomorrow and I thought that maybe if I came by and practiced, it would help calm me down."

He raised his eyebrow at her. "Maybe for a kiss," he teased. Darius was known by the cast and crew to be an innocent flirt. Katniss rolled her eyes and crossed her arms, impatient. Darius chuckled.

"Fine, I'm going to the diner for a quick bite. I'll be back in an hour to lock up after you."

Katniss smiled and thanked him, darting inside and through the halls of the dressing rooms.

She made her way to the stage and played with the stage lights. During her breaks in the wings, she would often watch the technicians flipping switches on the control board. She flipped a couple of the handles, experimenting until she found a suitable lighting combination.

She walked out onto the stage and gazed into the empty theater. The lights were bright, too bright to see much of the audience, save for a few seats in the orchestra section. She took deep, cleansing breaths, trying to imagine a packed theater like the one that would be there the next evening.

Her anxiety diminished somewhat, but stubbornly refused to disappear. She saw the upright piano sitting downstage left, the piano where they would gather at the beginning of rehearsals to warm up together. She walked toward it and sat down, playing the introduction to her big solo. Perhaps if she practiced it would help calm her down.

She played and sang but the results still left her unsatisfied. Her voice was shaky, unsure. Frustrated, she abandoned practicing her solo and wracked her brain for any thoughts that might calm her fears.

She thought about all her friends - about Cinna and Johanna and Madge and even Professor Abernathy - all of whom this would have been impossible without. Their support and guidance over the past year were what helped keep Katniss moving, even as life tried its hardest to keep her down.

She thought about seeing Prim and even her mother, who were both planning on attending opening night. She hadn't seen either of them in months and she knew how excited they were to see her finally performing on the big stage.

She thought of her father, her hand unconsciously reaching for her necklace as she mused about how proud he would have been to know that Katniss was so close to fulfilling her dream.

Yet the thought of being so close to finally achieving everything she had worked for both invigorated and terrified her.

Again, Katniss started to panic; the thoughts of her friends and family were still not enough to overcome her mounting fears. She knew that if she couldn't relax, her performance in rehearsal would suffer and Seneca would more than likely replace her on opening night. Her anxiety rose and as a last resort, she let herself think about the blue eyes of Peeta Mellark for the first time in three weeks.

* * *

As he roamed the dark, nearly empty streets, Peeta didn't have a clue where he was headed, but his feet led him to a familiar place. He looked up at the marquee of the theater, bold letters touting opening night for their Les Miserables revival. He reached into his pockets and pulled out his keys; as a major investor in the show he was granted the privilege of keys to the theater.

Peeta unlocked the front doors into the lobby and stepped inside, expecting darkness and a deadening silence. Instead he saw a dim light shining through cracks of the doors to the theater. He wondered whether the stage crew was there completing any last minute tasks, but he knew that there was a rehearsal in the morning where they would finish the final touches, and it was surprisingly silent if they were doing any work with scenery or props. As his hand reached for the theater door, his question was answered.

It was her voice, the voice he had tried to avoid for the past three weeks.

A part of him wanted to run away. His subconscious had chased his memories of Katniss to the theater, yet he never expected to actually find her there. He wasn't sure if he was ready to face her, but her singing was like a magnet drawing him in. Without another thought, he grabbed the door handle.

* * *

Peeta Mellark had become Katniss' new crutch when she sang. His absence the past few weeks and her corresponding suffering performance quality confirmed that fact. After that day at the café, thinking about him had become too painful, but now it was the only thing keeping her from falling apart. She missed him, there was no doubt about that. She missed his friendship, his unwavering support, his corny sense of humor, his smile and lips and touch and—

Katniss stopped the thought in its tracks. She couldn't allow herself to think of Peeta like that anymore. She had given him up, had conceded victory to Delly who was a much more suitable match for him. A woman who was part of his world.

Part of his world. The phrase made her chuckle.

She brought her hands up to the piano, resting her fingers on the ivory keys, playing the familiar chords and singing a tune from her childhood.

_What would I give, to live where you are?  
What would I pay to stay here beside you?  
What would I do to see you smiling at me?  
Where would we walk? Where would we run,  
If we could stay all day in the sun?  
Just you and me, and I could be  
Part of your world…_

Her voice faded out softly, her tone melancholy. It was the best she had sung in the past three weeks. Her nerves finally calm, she took her fingers off the keyboard.

"Interesting song choice."

Her body jumped at the sudden intrusion, head snapping toward the source of the sound. There he was, Peeta, standing downstage left, watching her, his hands in his pockets. He approached her cautiously; as if he was afraid she would bolt at any second.

"Didn't realize Seneca had changed your solo for the show," he quipped, walking toward her. "What are you doing here, Katniss?"

"I…," she began, still trying to overcome the initial shock of his presence. "I couldn't sleep."

He stopped at the piano, leaning against the wood frame and crossing his arms. "Me neither. Nervous?" he asked.

Katniss nodded her head silently, trying her best to avoid his eyes.

"Want to talk about it?"

She stared at the keys of the piano in silence for a few moments until, suddenly, the doubts she was feeling spilled out of her.

"I don't know if I can do it," she admitted. "Opening night. I just…I don't know…"

Out of the corner of her eye she saw him place his forehead in his left hand, rubbing his temples in frustration. "Katniss, if this is about you thinking that I bought your spot in the show, please believe me. You belong on that stage tomorrow. You are the most talented person I know with the most beautiful voice I've ever heard. If you sing tomorrow like you just did now, you have nothing to worry about."

"It's not about that, Peeta," she assured him. "It's—I've thought about tomorrow, of being on Broadway, my entire life. Everything I've done has been to get me to that moment, of being on that stage. But what if it's not like how I dreamed it would be? I…" Her voice broke. "I can't handle another disappointment…"

Peeta moved closer and sat down next to her on the piano bench. She heard him sigh before he spoke. "I know you can't see yourself when you're performing, but I can't take my eyes off of you; no one can. You were meant to be in musical theater. It will be everything you ever dreamed of and more, I promise."

His words were comforting, yet there was still something that nagged at her. She stared at her hands nervously fidgeting in her lap. "I know it doesn't make any sense," she continued. "But that scares me just as much. What if it_ is_ everything I dreamed it would be? Then what do I do?"

And for the first time that night, she allowed herself the luxury of looking directly at Peeta.

He paused for a moment before smiling softly at her. "Then, you go out and find a new dream," he answered, as if it was the most obvious thing in the universe.

The idea seemed so simple, yet so alien to Katniss. She had lived her entire life as a victim of circumstances that she believed to be out of her control. To feel like she finally had a say in her future was empowering.

They sat on the bench, staring at each other in silence. Katniss drank him in, the realization of just how much she missed him sinking in and nestling in the pit of her stomach. He looked at her longingly but guardedly, as if afraid that she would hurt him again.

In that moment, she realized how exhausted she was. Exhausted from fighting their undeniable chemistry. Exhausted from pretending that she didn't care, of trying to convince herself that they shouldn't be together.

And at this hour, her nerves fraught already and with these thoughts bombarding her senses, she couldn't maintain her resolve any longer. Her body betrayed her resolution, leaning toward him, finding his lips with her own tentatively, then with growing urgency.

He was quick to return her affections, cupping her face, his mouth moving eagerly over hers. Suddenly, the longing she felt for him for the past three weeks manifested all at once, and all she wanted was to feel close to him. She closed the gap between them, pressing her upper body against his. He wrapped his arms around her torso while she gripped his shirt, using it to pull him closer.

She turned toward him, swinging her leg across his lap, resting her knees on either side of his hips, pulling herself up to straddle him on the piano bench. He parted her lips with his tongue, probing deep inside her mouth as his hands gripped her hips. She tangled her fingers in his hair, riding the wave of adrenaline that coursed through her veins. She broke the kiss, moving to press her lips on the corner of his mouth and to his cheek.

"Tell me you didn't mean what you said," Peeta breathed as she trailed her lips across his jaw line. She didn't respond with words, instead placing open-mouthed kisses down his neck toward his collarbone.

But he was persistent. He gripped her shoulders and gently pushed their bodies apart so he could look her in the eyes. "Katniss," he pleaded. "Tell me you didn't mean it."

And suddenly the spell was broken, her desire suspended, replaced again by doubt and insecurity and the sound of Mrs. Mellark's voice. The reality of their situation sunk in, the weight heavy on her chest.

She hesitated, squeezing her eyes shut and shaking her head. "I can't," she whispered, pushing herself off of him and planting her feet onto the floor. She turned her back to him, trying to fight off the tears that were building in her eyes.

Katniss heard Peeta rise from the bench and felt him standing behind her. He placed his hands on her shoulders. "Talk to me, Katniss," he begged. "There's something you're not telling me. I know you can feel that there's something special between us. After that night we spent together, and now this. Why do you keep running away from me? From us? "

Again she shook her head. She was confused and conflicted; angry with herself that she had wavered on the lie she had spent so much energy to build and maintain. Now she had complicated things further with her foolish actions.

But to her, the feelings she held for Peeta were still not enough to convince her that they could fix their seemingly hopeless predicament.

"I'm sorry," she choked out, shrugging him off and stepping away.

"What do you have to be sorry for?"

"This. Us. It won't work. I… I can't give you what you deserve, Peeta."

He moved around to stand in front of her, firmly grabbing her by the shoulders and imploring her to look at him. "What are you talking about?" he asked, his voice agitated. "Where is this all coming from? Tell me!"

Katniss turned her face away from him, her eyes still shut and fighting tears. She shook her head again, only wanting to get away from him, from the internal struggle between her head and her heart.

She broke away from his grasp, making her way for the exit. She burst into a sprint when she heard him shouting her name.

* * *

**A/N: **Thank you for reading! I know, three hard endings in a row, but stick around; it'll be worth it!

And, yes, I totally did have two Disney movie references in one chapter. I also have a very subtle reference to one of my favorite TV shows; if you can figure out what it is and what show it's from, then you will have a piece of my heart forever.

Thank you to **katnissinme** for her awesome beta work for this chapter; I honestly don't know what I would do without her.

Thanks for all the follows, favorites and reviews! Please leave a review and let me know what you thought of this chapter, or check out my tumblr**, drmellark dot tumblr dot com,** for story updates/progress and to ask any questions!


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